Punch or the London Charivari, September 9, 1914Various
History
Punch or the London Charivari, September 9, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Aren't there lots of people who wouldn't mind going as much as you?"
said Mary timidly. "I mean men with no wives or children. Oughtn't they
to go first?"
"I suppose they ought. But, you see, you'd never get anywhere like that.
A would wait for B who was married but had no child, and B would wait
for C who wasn't married but had a mother, and C would wait for D who
was an orphan, and so on. That's what Mr. Denham said."
"I see," said Mary miserably.
"I don't quite understand what we're in the world for," said poor John,
"or what the world's for at all. But I suppose the great thing is
that--that good ideas should live and bad ideas should die ... I haven't
done much for good ideas so far, I'm not the sort of person who could
... just one out of thousands of others ... But I could do something for
good ideas out there. I could help beat the bad idea of War ... Mr.
Denham says if we win there's lots of men, all the best and cleverest in
the country, who are pledged to see that there shall be no more war.
Well, that's what I call a good idea ... only we've got to win first."
"I know it sounds a wretched thing to say, but what about money?" asked
Mary hesitatingly.
"Mother would take you in; there'll be enough to pay her something. We
might try and let the house."
And then all the memories of summer evenings and happy Sundays rushed
upon Mary and she broke down.
"Our little garden of which we were so proud!" she sobbed.
"The Belgians," said John sadly, "were proud of their little gardens."
* * *
So far Recruiting Sergeant Denham. Meanwhile Recruiting Sergeant Flossie
had also got to work. Flossie, awaked by the shock of war to the
surprising fact that, after twenty-two years of vain, idle and
inglorious life, she was now of the most complete unimportance to her
country, had (for the first time) a sudden longing to "do something."
And so, being unfitted for needlework, nursing or the kitchen, she
adopted eagerly the suggestion of some stupid and unimaginative old
gentleman, and constituted herself (under God) Supreme Arbiter of Men's
Consciences for the South-West Suburbs of London. Patriotically aglow,
she handed out white feathers to all the un-uniformed young men she
chanced to meet ... the whitest of all coming to John, as he made his
way next morning to the recruiting office.
A. A. M.
* * * * *
Illustration: _Old Servant (to lady who has just returned to her
week-end cottage)._ "DREADFUL THIS NEWS ABOUT THE WAR, MUM; AND YOUNG
MR. KENNETH AWAY WITH THE FLEET, AND ALL THE GENTLEMEN ABOUT HERE
RECALLED TO THEIR REGIMENTS, AND THERE'S BEEN A DISASTER I MUST TELL YOU
ABOUT. THE MOTH HAVE GOT INTO THE DRAWING-ROOM CARPET, MUM."
* * * * *
HOW WILL YOU TAKE IT?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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