And so, if we may venture on a practical suggestion, Assuming that your postulate's indubitably true, And all should be examined--there must yet remain the question, _Custodes quis custodiet?_--For who'll examine _you?_ * * * * * WINES OR MINES?--Mrs. R. has on several occasions heard gentlemen talking of "passing the Rubicon," and she wants to know whether this is a Bill in Parliament about the Ruby Mines, or whether it is a modern expression for what was many years ago, as she was informed by her grandfather, a slang after-dinner phrase--"Pass the Ruby," _i.e._, the wine? * * * * * HOLIDAY TASKS FOR THE RECESS. _The Pr-m-r._ To rest and sample (under the personal supervision of Mrs. G.) Home Rule. _The Marquis of S-l-sb-ry._ To forget the speeches he had prepared for Loyal Ulster. _Sir W-ll-m H-rc-rt._ To practise Local Option in the New Forest. _Lord R-s-b-ry._ To make up his mind about Uganda. _Lord R-nd-lph Ch-rch-ll._ To follow where he once led. _Mr. Arth-r B-lf-r._ To lead where he once followed. _The Duke of D-v-nsh-re._ To acquire a taste for "another place." _Sir A-g-st-s Dr-l-n-s._ To grapple with the Opera difficulty. _Mr. H-nry Irv-ng._ To run along with _Becket._ _Miss Ell-n T-rry._ To continue the same movement. _Mr. J. L. T-le._ To prepare to take _Walker--London_ to "Castle, Windsor." * * * * * LEGAL QUERY ANSWERED SATISFACTORILY.--In an Article on the Lecture on Cross-examination by Mr. FRANK LOCKWOOD, Q.C., a _D. T._ Leader reminded its readers of the scene in _The Village Lawyer_, where Defendant is instructed by his Counsel to answer every question by simply saying, in an imbecile manner, "Ba-a-a!" Subsequently, on aforesaid Counsel asking for his fee, his client replied, "Ba-a-a!" "What," asks the _D. T._, "would Mr. FRANK LOCKWOOD, Q.C., M.P., do with such a witness in cross-examination?" Why, 'tis evident that such a case would not arise, as professional etiquette would prevent one Barrister from taking a fee from a brother Barrister, that is as long as the latter _stuck to the Ba-a-a!_ * * * * * VERY APPROPRIATE.--At Drury Lane, on Easter Monday, will appear _The Bohemian Girl_, followed by the rivals in _Rustic Chivalry_. Very flattering to the dear old _Bohemian Girl_. * * * * * TREACHEROUS WEATHER.--Lord SALISBURY has had a bad cold. He has been recommended, however, not to put on, but to put off, his Ulster. * * * * * END OF THE COTTON STRIKE.--General rejoicings! All join in a reel! * * * * * [Illustration: BEHIND THE SCENES.] ACTING MANAGER H-RC-RT. "WELL, SIR, I THINK WE MAY SAY THAT,--IN SPITE OF THE ORGANISED OPPOSITION IN THE HOUSE,--THE FIRST ACT HAS REALLY GONE VERY WELL!"