BUTCHERED--to make an Easter Holiday, For Orangemen who yearn to have their say! They've got political _delirium tremens_. _Orange?_ Nay, they're sour as unripe lemons! * * * * * THE REAL "SPIRITUAL" (OR SHALL WE SAY SPIRITUOUS?) NEEDS OF LONDON.--Strict Supervision of Gin Palaces, and a rigid enforcement of the Adulteration Acts. (_Licensing Authorities, Excise Officers, and Policemen, please take Notice!_) * * * * * A TIP IN TIME. Country Vestrydom's called, by its new-fangled rival, (The smart "Parish Council") "decrepit survival." P. C., be not hard on the old form thou twittest! Thou yet hast to prove _thy_ "Survival" the "fittest." * * * * * AT THE CONFECTIONER'S. (_A Sketch on Saturday Afternoon._) SCENE.--_A Confectioner's Shop in a fashionable West-End thoroughfare. Close to the window is a counter, with the usual urns and appurtenances, laden with an assortment of richly decorated pastry, and presided over by an alert and short-tempered_ Manageress. _The little tables are close together, and crowded with_ Customers, _the majority of whom are ladies. A couple of over-worked_ Waitresses _are endeavouring, with but indifferent success, to satisfy everybody at once._ _Cries from Customers._ Yes, two teas and _one_ roll and butter--no, I mean, one roll and butter and _two_ teas! "_Have I ordered?_" Why, the last time you said it was coming directly! Isn't that chocolate ready _yet?_ We shall _never_ catch our train! I say, Waitress, I ordered coffee and cakes a quarter of an hour ago, and all we've got yet is two empty cups and a bowl of sugar! _Do_ make haste with that tea! I didn't say a _cup_ of tea--I said a _pot_ of tea, as plain as----! (&c., &c.) _Duet of Waitresses._ Yes, Sir, attend to you in one moment. Are _you_ the cup of tea, Madam? Oh, I'll bring you a fork for your pastry directly. There'll be some milk coming in a minute, Sir. Bread and butter? No, Sir, you can have a _roll_ and butter, or cakes, if you prefer them. Excuse me, Madam, when I've done attending to _this_ lady. No, Sir; it was the other young lady who took your order--not me. _Would_ you mind letting me have the milk-jug, if you've finished with it, Madam? We're rather short of them. I'll _see_ if I can get you a teaspoon, Sir. (&c., &c.)