Those who like "Just a tale by twilight, When the lights are low, And the glittering shadows Softly come and go," will do well to expend the comparatively small sum of one shilling, which, in certain ready-money quarters, is reduced to tenpence, or even ninepence, on _Grim Tales_, written by E. NESBIT, of which "The Ebony Frame" (which should have been called "The Speaking Likeness,") "The Mystery of the Semi-Detached," "Life-size, in Marble," and "A Mass for the Dead," are the best, the last-mentioned being the only one that ends, as all otherwise purposeless tales should end, happily. The Stories are grim enough, in all conscience, but they are told in a hearty sort of fashion, which, while relieving them of some of their weirdness, is calculated to impress the reader with an idea of the honesty and _bona fides_ of the narrator. Thus far, THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. * * * * * [Illustration: THE PENALTY OF FAME. _Small Boy_ (_with shrill voice_). "'FIGHTIN'--WITH--THE SEV'NTH--ROYAL FUSILIERS--THE FAMOUS FUSILIERS--THE FIGHTIN' FUSILIERS,'" &C., &C. _Irritable War-Office Clerk._ "CON-FOUND THE SEVENTH ROYAL FUSILIERS! I'M SICK OF 'EM! BLEST IF I DON'T PACK 'EM OFF TO THE CHANNEL ISLANDS!" (_Does so._)] * * * * * MEM. FOR THE NEXT EPSOM MEETING,--WHY is the Winner of the Derby always like a _Table d' hote_?--Because he's so much ahead. * * * * * QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR A CRIMINAL COLLEGE. (_Suitable for Use at the Prison University, Elmira._) _Question._ What is a crime? _Answer._ A discovered breach of the law. _Q._ And a virtue? _A._ Its antithesis--the same thing unsuspected. _Q._ What should be the chief occupation of a criminal? _A._ A serious study of the law, with a view to its successful evasion. _Q._ Is there a law for the rich and a law for the poor? _A._ Certainly not; but a well-feed Q.C. is more than a match for a briefless Counsel whose professional sustenance is "soup." _Q._ What is now generally considered to be the highest line of crime? _A._ The malpractice that is frequently inseparable from holding of important positions on the Boards of bogus public Companies. _Q._ What is necessary to secure a livelihood out of burglary? _A._ A clear head, a knowledge of chemistry and kindred subjects, and a fair amount of capital. _Q._ Why is ready money necessary? _A._ Because the calling of a burglar nowadays is attended by various compulsory expenses. A successful burglar should be able to purchase skeleton-keys and "jemmies" of the most exquisite and delicate quality. Moreover, he should be able to entertain largely, and to keep a yacht. _Q._ Is swindling ever known to be legal? _A._ Scarcely; still it can often be practised with impunity on the Stock Exchange and the Turf. _Q._ Is petty larceny lawful?