[_A Blind-folded Lady on the Stage has been reading and adding up figures on a black board, and now offers to tell the day of the week of any person's birth in the audience._ _Her Colleague._ Will some gentleman kindly oblige me with the date of his birth? _The Fiancee._ Now, JACK, tell yours. I _want_ you to. _Jack_ (_in an unnaturally gruff voice_). Fourteenth of February, eighteen-sixty-nine! _The Blindfolded Lady_ (_with the air of the Delphic Pythia_). Yes--_that_ fell upon a Monday. [_Applause._ _Her Coll._ Is that correct, Sir? _Jack._ Don't know. [_He reddens, and tries to look unconscious._ _Her Coll._ Now I will ask the Lady if she can mention some event of importance that took place on the same date. _The Bl. L._ Let me think. Yes. (_Solemnly._) On the same date, in the year seventeen-hundred-and-thirty-seven, goloshes were first invented! [_Loud applause._ _Miss V._ (_as the pair retire_). Well, thank goodness, we've seen the last of that beastly black-board. I didn't come here to add up sums. What is it next? Oh, a "Farmyard Imitator." I expect that will be rather rot, Father, don't you? [_Enter a Gentleman in evening dress who gives realistic imitations of various live-stock._ _The Country Cousin._ That's _exactly_ the way our little Berkshire pig grunts, and "Sweetlips" calls her calf just like that--and, oh, KATIE, I _wonder_ if he could have heard our Dorkings clucking at home--I think he _must_ have--he does it so exactly the same! _Katie._ Then you do think _that's_ clever, SOPHY? _Sophy._ Oh, well--for an _imitation_, you know! [_A "Sensational Cage Mystery" is introduced; a pretty child is shut up in a cage, which is opened a moment after, and found to contain a Negro who capers out, grinning._ _The London Aunt._ SOPHY, do you see that?--there's a black man there now, instead! _Sophy_ (_without enthusiasm_). Yes, Aunt, I see, thank you. _Katie._ Don't you _like_ it, SOPHY? _Sophy._ I don't see why it need have been a _Nigger_! _The S. L._ (_after a "Humorous Musical Sketch" by a clever and, charming young Lady_). Like _that_, my dear?--a Young Woman giving a description of how she actually went on the Stage, and imitating men in that way! It was as much as _I_ could do to sit still in my seat! _Her Friend._ I must say I thought it was very amusing. _The S. L._ Amusing? I daresay. But, to my mind, young girls have no _business_ to be amusing, and take off other people. I've no opinion of such ways myself. I don't know what my dear Mother would have done if _I'd_ ever been amusing--she would have broken her heart, I do believe! _The Friend_ (_to herself_). She wouldn't have split her sides, that's very certain! [_A_ Lady Physiognomist _appears in cap and gown, and invites a subject to step upon the stage, and have his or her character revealed._ _Jack_ (_to his Fiancee_). No, I say--but look here, FLOSSIE, _really_ I'd rather not--with all these people looking!