_Miss Seaton_ (_to herself_). How perfectly _ghastly_ DOUGLAS is looking! Didn't he _really_ know the CARTOUCHES lived next door?... Then--_oh_, what an idiot I've been! It's a mistake--he _doesn't_ come from BLANKLEY'S at all! I _must_ speak to him--I must tell him how----no, I _can't_--I forgot how horrid I've been to him! I should have to tell him I believed _that_--and I'd rather die! No, it's too late--it's too late now! [Miss SEATON _and_ Lord STRATHSPORRAN _sit regarding the tablecloth with downcast eyes, and expressions of the deepest gloom and confusion_. (_End of Scene V._) * * * * * Rhyme by a Rad. [The question where the Liberal-Unionists shall sit has excited some discussion.] They have stolen the old Tory togs bit by bit, And we wish they would openly don them. However, it matters not much _where_ they sit, For wherever it be we'll sit _on_ them! * * * * * "RAILWAY RATES."--Whatever question there may be on this subject, there can be none whatever as to the rates at which "The Bournemouth Express," "The Granville L. C. & D.," and "The Flying Dutchman," severally travel. Such rates are first rate. * * * * * CON. FOR THE CONSOLATION OF THE MANY SUFFERERS FROM A CURRENT CATCH-WORD.--_Q._ What is the only thing that is _really_ "up-to-date"?--_A._ A palm-tree. * * * * * MEM. FOR MR. VIVIAN AND THE ROYALISTS.--The Last of the STUARTS,--STUART _KNILL_. There can be none after _Nil_. * * * * * DRAMATIC WITHOUT BEING STAGEY. [Illustration]