E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Juliet Sutherland, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 22486-h.htm or 22486-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/4/8/22486/22486-h/22486-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/4/8/22486/22486-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 104. FEBRUARY 25, 1893. MIXED NOTIONS. No. V.--AGRICULTURAL DEPRESSION. (_Scene and Persons as usual._) _First Well-informed Man._ There hasn't been much in this debate on the Addresses. _Second W. I. M._ Oh. I don't know. They've promised a pretty big list of measures. How they're going to find time for the lot I can't make out. _First W. I. M._ (_contemptuously_). Yes, that's always the way with these Governments. They all talk mighty big at the beginning of the Session, and then, at the end, they've done nothing, absolutely nothing; at least, nothing that's any good to anybody. Parliament's getting to be nothing but a bear-garden. The House won't be a fit place for a gentleman to be seen in soon. _Second W. I. M._ (_spitefully_). You didn't seem to think it would be such a bad place for one gentleman, about eight months ago. You were after a constituency yourself, weren't you? _First W. I. M._ Well, and what if I was? I told you at the time why I thought of standing. I thought I could do some good, but I precious soon found they were a miserable lot, so I made 'em my bow. "Gentlemen," I said, "you can worry it out among yourselves, and, when you've agreed, you can let me know." _Second W. I. M._ And they never did let you know, did they? Went and elected another Johnny. Deuced bad taste I call it. _Inquirer_ (_creating a diversion_). Look here, I say, what's all this talk about Agricultural Depression? What does it mean? _First W. I. M._ What does it mean! Why, my dear chap, I should have thought that any schoolboy knew that our agriculture is being simply ruined. If things go on like this, we shan't have a farmer left. They're all on the verge of bankruptcy. _Inquirer_ (_doggedly_). I daresay you're right; but, anyhow, I know, when I was at Chilborough, the other day, I saw a lot of farmers about, and they looked pretty fat and comfortable. That's why I can't make out what it all means. _First W. I. M._ (_resignedly_). Well, I suppose I must explain it all, from the very beginning. The first point is, we've got Free Trade, and the farmers want Protection; and old GLADSTONE and all the rest of them say they're not to have it. Well, that isn't likely to put the farmers in a good temper, is it? Then, of course, the Americans, and the Russians, and the Indians see their chance, and they send ship-loads of food into this country, and the taxes have to be paid all the same by our farmers. _Second W. I. M._ (_interrupting_). What taxes?