_First W. I. M._ Oh, of course--and you'd let the land go out of cultivation. That's mere selfishness. _Inquirer._ How's that? Can't they work the land now? _First W. I. M._ What a question! Of course they can't. _Inquirer_ (_anxiously_). But I've seen 'em ploughing a bit lately. _First W. I. M._ My dear Sir, they do it just to occupy time--they must do something. _Inquirer._ Of course--of course. [_Terminus._ * * * * * [Illustration: THE RESOURCES OF CIVILISATION. _M.P._ (_apostrophising ruined hat_). "VERY WELL, THEN, NEXT TIME THERE'S GOING TO BE A RUSH, I'LL BRING A JAPANNED TIN HAT CHARGED WITH ELECTRICITY--THEN LET HIM SIT ON IT!!"] * * * * * Our amiable old friend, Mrs. R., came across a book entitled _Playthings and Parodies_, by BARRY PAIN. "Oh, I _must_ buy _that_!" she exclaimed. "I've seen him so often in the Pantomime at Drury Lane! And fancy his being an Author, too! But I don't so much wonder at it, because I remember that, when I was a little girl, there was a celebrated Shakspearian Clown at Astley's called BARRY, and he sailed in a tub drawn by geese down the Thames, and there was a wonderful Pantomime actor of the name of PAIN. And now this talented gentleman turns out to be an Author as well!!" * * * * * [Illustration: RETURN OF "GRANDOLPH" THE WANDERER! "BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE EVIDENCE OF WEALTH. "AND WHO LIVES IN THE BIG HOUSE OPPOSITE?" "MR. FLINDERS, SIR,--AND MRS. FLINDERS,--THE OLD VETERINARY SURGEON AND HIS WIFE." "THEY MUST BE PRETTY WELL OFF, I SHOULD THINK, TO LIVE IN A HOUSE LIKE THAT?" "OH YES, SIR, VERY RICH INDEED. WHY, THEY 'AD A GOLDEN WEDDING THERE, THE WEEK BEFORE LAST!"] * * * * * FINALITY. ["He was one of those who believed that, even in the ordinary legislation of the House, and still more in a measure of such complexity, it was the utmost folly to talk of finality!"--_Mr. J. Redmond the Home-Rule Bill._]