Well, honies, I'll give ye a hint, And let ivery one do it who can; When the bag of thirteens is all spint, Set up for a Parliament man. Thim's the boys that gets lashins of drinkin', And they dine wanst a week wid the Queen, Where the glasses are niver done clinkin', Wid the Royalties jokin' and spreein', Jubileein', And such doins as niver was seen. * * * * * A COMPLAINT AND SIMPLE REMEDY.-- Among the Requests in our ecclesiastical contemporary, _The Guardian_, recently appeared one asking for an effectual way of "_exterminating dry rot, and preventing its re-appearance in a church_." Why doesn't the reverend inquirer try somebody else's Sermons? Or have no Sermons at all? * * * * * NOTHING more delights our old friend than to get hold of a real good word, and use it with effect. "I wish I knew what is going to win the Derby this year," observed her Niece. "Ah, my dear," replied her Aunt, "I might be able to tell you if I were a Vaccinator." * * * * * BEST DAY IN THE WEEK FOR MAKING A PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE.--In London, Monday is the most appropriate, as being dedicated to the "Monday Pops." * * * * * [Illustration: _Mr. Moriarty._ "LOOK HERE, ADA, HOW MUCH LONGER, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, ARE YE GOIN' TO BE DRESSIN' YOURSELF?" _Voice from the Heights._ "ONLY TEN MINUTES, DEAR!" _Mr. Moriarty._ "WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS, IF I'VE GOT TO WAIT HERE TEN MINUTES, I'LL--I'LL BE OFF THIS BLESSED MOMENT!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "SCENES IN THE LOBBY." DESIGN FOR OUR OWN HISTORICAL PAINTER.] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.