'Twill be a close fight, bet your boots about that, _If_ we get a clear course without serious obstruction, Of which I'm not sanguine; the practice of PAT Has proved to possess universal seduction. Our last spin was muffed; never mind whose the fault; Let bygones be bygones! But now comes the crisis! It's now win or lose. Every man worth his salt Will pull like a Titan from Cam or from Isis. But--pull clean together, and put on the pace When I call for a spurt, or we're in for a licking. And, Cox, don't _you_ steer us all over the place. In the fight that's before us, the course requires picking! So keep at attention, MAC, sharp all the way; A split-second's slackness may set our foes grinning. _Verb. sap.!_ Our last "spin" proved a "mull," I must say; We _must_ quicken the pace, if this bout we mean winning! * * * * * [Illustration: "PUTTING OFF." GLADSTONE (_the Old Blue_). "NOW, MY BOYS,--WE MUST ROW A QUICKER STROKE IF WE'RE TO WIN!"] * * * * * MIXED NOTIONS. No. VIII.--THE BOAT-RACE. _Inquirer._ Are any of you chaps going to the Boat-Race? _First Well-Informed Man._ No, I shan't. Everybody knows which is going to win, so there's deuced little interest in the race; and then you can always read it on the tape at your Club. Besides, I don't care much about rowing. It's a silly sort of exercise; anybody can do it. _Second W. I. M._ Have you ever tried? _First W. I. M._ (_indignantly_). Have I ever tried? Of course I have. Why, you were with me last Summer when we had that water-party from Taplow to Cookham. [Illustration] _Second W. I. M._ Ah! but you didn't do much rowing then. You let me get all the blisters, and you just sat in the stern and steered us like a blessed corkscrew. _First W. I. M._ Did I? I didn't remember that; but I do remember you catching about half-a-dozen crabs one after another. _Second W. I. M._ True enough I caught one, but that was because you would keep standing up in the boat, and moving your body backwards and forwards. I suppose you thought the coxswains do that in their racing-boats? _First W. I. M._ (_boldly_). They do. I've seen 'em doing it often. _Second W. I. M._ Why, I thought you'd never seen the crews at all. _First W. I. M._ Bosh! I never said anything of the kind. I'm not going to see the race this year, but I've often seen 'em practising down at Putney. Everybody knows the coxswains have to stand up. How do you suppose they could see to steer if they didn't? So where are you now, with all your accurate information, eh? _Second W. I. M._ I'm where I was before, and I know I'm right, because my brother-in-law had a cousin who was at school with one of the Coxes about ten years ago. [_A pause._ _Inquirer_ (_looking up from his sporting paper_). I say, I thought the crews rowed in racing-boats. _First W. I. M._ So they do.