Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, March 25, 1893 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, March 25, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, March 25, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Don't know how long this passion of appreciation will last;
interesting to observe while yet with us. A lull all round in sympathy
with soothing moments of CHANCELLOR of EXCHEQUER. Even J. W.
LOWTHER'S perturbed mind at rest. Knows now, to a fraction, how many
lead-pencils are annually in use in directing destinies of British
Empire. Rumour current that origin of this inquiry was a little
undertaking promoted by Hon. Member in substitution of proscribed
word-guessing competitions. Sweep got up; L5 entry; every man to guess
at precise figure of lead-pencil census; the one coming nearest to
clear the pool. LOWTHER tells me not word of truth in report. In
putting his question as to number of lead-pencils in use, and in
sticking to it in spite of jeers of bystanders and guilty reticence of
Minister, he was actuated simply by motives of public policy; desired,
in short, to live up to standard of late lamented Leader and do his
duty to his QUEEN and Country.
_Business done._--Great lead-pencil question settled. Excited House
Counted Out at 9.20.
[Illustration: "Back!! Rasch intruder!"]
_Thursday Night._--House dying to know what Major FREDERICK CARNE
RASCH had to say on Navy Estimates. Not being Major of Marines,
initial difficulty is to imagine what he did in this galley. If it had
been the Army, or even the Militia, the Major would have seemed all
right. But what had he to do with the Navy? That, however, is for
the Major a minor point. "You CARNE be too RASCH when attacking this
Government," said KENYON, with his pretty elliptical speech.
It was half-past ten, and a dull night. Navy Estimates been talked
round for nearly five hours. SQUIRE of MALWOOD meekly hoped that a
Vote would now be taken; DICKY TEMPLE presented himself at footlights
with bewitching smile on his lips and elegantly bound gilt-edged
volume under his arm; bowed to audience; opened volume; proceeding to
offer few remarks when SQUIRE swooped down on him with Closure.
This was cue for RASCH. Chairman rose to put question. So did RASCH.
Closure must not be debated; attempt to speak is unpardonable breach
of order. The Major stood in the imminent deadly breach; House
howled; Chairman cried, "Order! Order!" RASCH glared round, and, after
moment's hesitation, sat down; up again as soon as Question was put;
howls more anguished than ever. Committee having agreed that Question
be put, nothing to do but put it, and here was RASCH bubbling over
with speech. Chairman on his feet peremptorily signalling Major to
sit down; Members near him tugged at his coat-tails; those further off
frantically wave deprecatory hands. Major stood to his guns; shouts of
"Name! Name!" Chairman, desperately pegging away, succeeded in putting
Question, being money-vote for Navy. Major by this time hauled down in
his seat. Up again, like Jack out of box. Chairman also on his feet,
putting next vote; hubbub tremendous; Major's lips observed in motion;
not an articulate syllable rose above uproar.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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