"The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER," he observed, in his most judicial manner, "may ask me to suggest another source of revenue." The SQUIRE pricked up his ears; the Committee sat attentive. If ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS had given his great mind to consideration of the subject, it might be regarded as settled. All waited for his next utterances. "That," he continued, in steely tones, "is the CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER'S business. Mine is to carry out the Newcastle Programme." ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS thereupon resumed his seat, leaving the SQUIRE gloomily facing the dead wall of his deficit. _Business done._--Budget Bill passed report stage. _Friday Night._--Some young bloods below Gangway, on Ministerial side, in distinctly low spirits. On Tuesday night, stage of Budget Bill being taken, with ten minutes to spare, ASQUITH nimbly moved reference of Employers' Liability Bill to Grand Committee. Opposition, who want it referred to Select Committee, were under impression Mr. G. had promised discussion should not be taken till Thursday or Friday. Last night CHAMBERLAIN protested that they had been betrayed, and deceived. Young bloods below Gangway disposed to chuckle over this spectacle. Mr. G., on contrary, takes it seriously to heart. Having got Bill referred to Grand Committee, positively agrees to rescind Order, and begin all over again. "It's very seldom," says the SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, in most melancholy mood, "that our side show themselves capable of doing a smart thing. When, by chance, it is accomplished, Mr. G. comes along, and coolly undoes it." To-day, nearly two hours spent in discussing question; Bill, eventually, remitted to Grand Committee, as it had been left at midnight on Tuesday. "Shan't play!" cries CHAMBERLAIN. "All very well for you, with your majority, to bowl us over, but you won't gain any time by it. You may take a horse to the Grand Committee, but you can't make him discuss your Bill." _Business done._--Budget Bill through. * * * * * Q. E. D. (_By a Grumpy Old Bachelor._) "'Tis a mad world, my masters!" Grim LOMBROSO Corroborates mild SHAKSPEARE in this matter. And, though _his_ demonstration seems but so-and-so, No doubt the world's as mad as any hatter, The sweeter sex especially! 'Tis sad, But that rule's absolute, depend upon it! 'Tis obvious all women _must_ be mad, Because--there is a "b" in _every_ bonnet! * * * * * WILDER IDEAS; _Or, Conversation as she is spoken at the Haymarket._ _The Disciple._ Ah, that supper after the Theatre! It was the unspeakable following the unplayable. I feel so seedy! _The Master._ Nay, but have I not told you that the two letters to follow "X. S." are "S. and B.?" And you have yourself said that "Soda and Brandy is the last refuge of the--digestion." _The Disciple._ Hang it! I can survive everything--except the cast-off clothes of my own epigrams,--or, by the bye, death.