_Second Member of the House._ Why didn't I join you? Because I didn't want to make a Union-Jack-ass of myself! [_Exit, before the retort is possible._ * * * * * A Pair of Spectacles. (_After hearing a much interrupted Speech in the Commons._) When a batsman has to go To the tent with a "round O," He knows _he's_ not made a hit. When a Statesman's hitting well, The round "Oh's" around him swell (Dullards' substitutes for wit). In debate or cricket score, The "round O" means _nought_--no more! * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY. _Fair Hostess._ "GOOD-NIGHT, MAJOR JONES. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BREAKFAST AT NINE; BUT WE'RE NOT VERY PUNCTUAL PEOPLE. INDEED, THE LATER YOU APPEAR TO-MORROW MORNING, THE BETTER PLEASED WE SHALL ALL BE!"] * * * * * May 10, 1893. MR. PUNCH'S VISION AT THE OPENING OF THE IMPERIAL INSTITUTE. _This Spring's soft beauty is a joy for ever; Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass to forgetfulness; we still must keep Fond memories of this Maytime, calm as sleep Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. Therefore, on this May morning are we wreathing A flowery band, to bind us round the earth, Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth Of patriot natures, Mammen-ridden days, And Toil's unhealthy and o'erdarkened ways Made for our mending: yes, in spite of all This Mayday Vision moves away the pall From our dark spirits!_ KEATS _adapted to the occasion._ Thy pardon, _Adonais_, pray, That on this memorable morning We twist those lovely lines astray, As modish maid, her charms adorning A trail may twine of eglantine Into the formal "set" of Fashion. Yet wouldst thou gladly lend thy line To present need; for patriot passion, Love of the little sea-girt land, Has ever fired our English singers. Of England's fame, from strand to strand, Their songs have been the widest wingers. So, _Adonais_, this great day Were "Welcome as the flowers in May!"