_First W. I. M._ So it is--but the French are arbitrating. That's how they come into the business. I can't say, personally, I like these arbitrations. We're always arbitrating now, and giving everything away. If we think we're right, why can't we say so, and stick to it, and let the French, and the Yankees, and the Russians, and all the rest of 'em, take it from us, if they can? _Second W. I. M._ Take what from us? _First W. I. M._ Why, whatever it happens to be, the Behring Sea, or anything else. We're so deuced afraid of everybody now, we never show fight; it's perfectly sickening. But of course you can't expect anything else from old GLADSTONE. _Second W. I. M._ That's right--shove it all on to old GLADSTONE. But you're wrong this time. It was JO CHAMBERLAIN, one of your own blessed Unionists, that you're so proud of, who arranged this arbitration. _First W. I. M._ I know that, my dear boy; but CHAMBERLAIN was a Radical then; so where are you now? [_A pause._ _Inquirer_ (_who has continued his reading, suddenly, with a puzzled air_). I say, you know, this is too much of a good thing, bringing the Russians into the business. It says--(_reads_)--"documents were submitted, on behalf of the United States, to prove that Russia had never abandoned her sovereign rights in the manner suggested by Great Britain." How, on earth, does Russia manage to crop up everywhere? And where is this confounded Behring Sea? _Second W. I. M._ (_vaguely_). It's somewhere in America, or Newfoundland, or thereabouts. _Inquirer._ But how about Russia? _Second W. I. M._ Oh, Russia shoves her oar in whenever we get into a difficulty of any kind anywhere. _Inquirer_ (_persisting_). Yes--but how can she have any "sovereign rights" in America? _Second W. I. M._ (_haughtily, but evasively_). My dear fellow, if you had followed the thing properly, you wouldn't ask the question. There's no time now to explain it all to you, as it's very complicated, and goes back a long way. But you may take it from me that Russia has got certain rights, and that she means to make things as disagreeable for us as she can. [_A pause._ _Inquirer._ It's rather a rum start, isn't it? sending out Sir CHARLES RUSSELL and Sir RICHARD WEBSTER. They're on opposite sides of politics. _First W. I. M._ That's just why they send 'em. RUSSELL has got to put the Liberal view, and WEBSTER the Conservative. _Inquirer._ Of course, of course; I never thought of that. By the way, have you ever seen a seal? _First W. I. M._ They've got one at the Zoo. Catches fish, and kisses the keeper, and all that sort of game. _Inquirer._ What, that big beast that looks as if it was made of india-rubber, with long whiskers and a sort of fish-tail? _First W. I. M._ That's it. _Inquirer_ (_with profound disgust_). Well, I _am_ blessed! Is _that_ all they're jawing about? [_Terminus._ * * * * * IN MEMORIAM--"THE DEVIL'S OWN."