How is Mr. F. LUKE FILDES, R.A.?--In excellent health we sincerely hope, but from seeing daily, in the front sheet of the _Times_, an advertisement commencing "The Doctor after LUKE FILDES, R.A." Many friends began to feel anxious. We are glad to be able to add, that, in answer to the numerous inquiries made at 39, Old Bond Street, a most satisfactory report has been obtained. [Illustration: "HONOURS EASY." _First Undergraduate._ "I SAY, OLD MAN, DID YOU WIN YOUR MONEY?" _Second Un._ "'COURSE NOT; WON SOMEBODY ELSE'S. _YOU_ LOST _YOUR_ COIN, DIDN'T YOU?" _First Un._ "MY COIN! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I LOST THE GUV'NOR'S!"] * * * * * MUSE v. MECHANIC. ["Mr. NORMAN GALE--the Muse of orchards and pretty girls with polished knees; a charm often left unsung."--_Mr. Andrew Lang on the Poems of "A Country Muse."_] "A Country Muse" sings, if you please, Of pretty girls "with polished knees"! One would not quite demolish The graphic rhymester's stock-in-trade, But if bare knees must be displayed, He _might_ forego the polish. It smacks of fustian! Workmen's "bags" Are very "polished" where the "sags" From salient joints protuberant, Grow shiny with continual friction; But "polished knees" in poet's diction Strike one as too exuberant. Say varnished elbows, burnished knuckles, And you'll elicit scornful chuckles From Muse and from Mechanic! Selections from the terms of trade Would put, I'm very much afraid, Parnassus in a panic. The bards are sometimes rather free With feminine anatomy; Their catalogues erotic Of pretty girls' peculiar "points," Their eyes and limbs, and curves and joints, Are often idiotic. But if we must be told, sometimes, Ladies have limbs, then that your rhymes May not offend or fog any, Don't _mechanise_ a maiden's charms; Leave "polishing" to legs and arms Of walnut or mahogany. * * * * * RHYMES ON THE DECAY OF ROMANCE. (_Suggested by Mr. Frederic Harrison's recent Article in "The Forum."_) Oh, list to Mr. HARRISON lamenting from _The Forum_, Imagination done to death by latter-day decorum! "Good boys and girls" we've all become, and modern men and maidens see The world with such prosaic eyes, Romance is in decadency! We're too absorbed in Politics, enamoured of Monotony, To give an ear to Geniuses (supposing we had _got_ any!) But First-Class in our Fiction Mr. HARRISON abolishes, Indeed most Authors travel Third, their talent so toll-lollish is. It's all the _Fin-de-Siecle's_ fault--and this, of course, a true bill is; For Genius puts its shutters up when centuries pass their jubilees! As Mr. HARRISON can prove by references historical,-- And any utterance of his is equal to an oracle.