Produced by Lesley Halamek, Malcolm Farmer and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOLUME 105, August 12th 1893 _edited by Sir Francis Burnand_ THE CLOSURE AT HOME. Paterfamilias entered the drawing-room at ten minutes to six o'clock, and found the family still undecided. There was a pause in the conversation when he made his appearance. "Where are we to go?" he asked, taking out his watch. "You have been quarrelling for the last week, and I have given you till this hour. So get through your amendments as fast as you can." "I prefer Paris," said Materfamilias, "and I am supported by all the girls. We are decidedly in a majority." "Paris is simply awful at the end of July!" cried the eldest son. "Give you my word, mother, the place is impossible." "Venice would certainly be better," said his younger brother. "Charming place, and you get a very decent _table d'hote_ at DANIELI'S." "Oh, Venice is too dreadful just now!" exclaimed Aunt MATILDA. "If _we_ are to go with you, we certainly can't travel there. Besides, there's the cholera all over the Continent. Now Oban would be nice." "Are you speaking seriously?" asked Cousin JANE. "Scotland never agrees with me, but Cairo would be perfect." "Do you think so, my dear girl?" put in Uncle JOHN. "I fancy you are making a mistake. Egypt is very well in the winter, but it is fearfully hot in August. Now they tell me Killarney is simply delightful at this season." "Ireland! No, thank you!" exclaimed REGINALD. "We have had enough of Home Rule on this side of the Channel to go across to find it on the other. No; give me Spain, or even Russia." The hands of the clock were close upon the hour, but still there was a minute or so to spare. "Russia indeed!" snapped out PRISCILLA. "Who ever would go to Russia? But people do tell me that Chicago is well worth seeing, and----" At this moment the clock struck six. "Time's up," cried Paterfamilias. "We will all go to Herne Bay." And they did. * * * * * [Illustration: THE TEST OF TRUE GENIUS. _Pictor Ignotus Number One._ "YES; I RATHER FLATTER MYSELF THERE ARE PRECIOUS FEW OF MY CONTEMPORARIES WHO CARE ABOUT _MY_ WORK!" _Pictor Ignotus Number Two_ (_not to be beaten_). "BY JOVE! I RATHER FLATTER MYSELF I'VE GOT THE PULL OF YOU _THERE_, OLD MAN! WHY, THERE'S _NOBODY_ CARES ABOUT _MINE_!"] * * * * * The New Atomic Theory. (_According to the New Journalism_). Mankind are debtors to two mighty creditors, Omniscient Science, and infallible Editors. Nature is summed in principles and particles; The moral world in Laws and Leading Articles! * * * * * CRICKET ACROSS THE CHANNEL. [Illustration]