A penny-a-liner heard--with a not unnatural choler-- That he of all invention was apparently bereft; And so he up and told them that a smart left-handed bowler, "Manipulates the leather with the left!" That's very chaste and novel, and alliterative too; As a sham Swinburnian poet we should think that man might do! * * * * * [Illustration: EDUCATED. (_From a Yorkshire Moor._) _Keeper (to the Captain, who has missed again, and is letting off steam in consequence)._ "OH DEAR! OH DEAR! IT'S HAWFUL TO SEE YER MISSIN' OF 'EM, SIR; BUT"--(_with admiration_)--"YE'RE A SCHOLARD I' LANGWIDGE, SIR!"] * * * * * CRICKET CONGRATULATIONS. 843! Well done! Well played! Well hit! It opens _Mr. Punch's_ eyes a bit To see our friends of the Antipodes Pile up their hundreds with the utmost ease. BRUCE leads the way, and shows Blues--Dark and Light-- Left-handed men may play the game aright. Then BANNERMAN, safe as a GUNN is he, Exceeds the Century by thirty-three, While five more than a hundred runs are due To TRUMBLE, whom his friends call simply "HUGH." Well played, Australia! Banks may fail--they do, And, truth to tell, you _have_ lost one or two, But this at any rate's a clear deduction-- Your Cricket Team can need no reconstruction! * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons, Monday, July 31._--No one who chanced last Thursday to see HAYES FISHER and LOGAN engaged in controversy on Front Opposition Bench would suspect them of essentially retiring disposition. This conclusively proved to-night. Decided on further consideration that something must really be done in direction of modifying effects of Thursday's riot. Someone must apologise. This put to HAYES FISHER, who delighted WALROND with swiftness, even enthusiasm, of acquiescence.