I have imperative claims; I'm going to state 'em With lupine brevity in an ultimatum. That--after some two days--must stand as Law; If after that you give me any jaw, My little Mutton--well, beware my maw!" MORAL. This truth my simple Fable doth attest, He who has strongest jaw argues the best! * * * * * AT DALY'S.--The Comedy _Love in Tandem_ ought to have been in three shorter Acts. Mr. LEWIS excellent, so is Mrs. GILBERT, who has not more than ten words to say, but a lot to act. Spanish widow also good. Mr. BOURCHIER is a marvellous example of the "Walking Gentleman," being perpetually on the move. It is gratifying to see him sit down for even a few seconds. Like the engineer of the penny steamboat in the burlesque of _Kenilworth_, he "has very much to larn"; but this fact need not discourage him, any more than it did Mr. HENRY IRVING, according to Mr. PERCY FITZGERALD'S recently published book of Irvingite Recollections, at the commencement of his career. Miss REHAN is, _par excellence_, the life and soul of the piece; and when there has been, in her absence, a dull moment or two, she re-enters and Rehanimates the whole. * * * * * "Swimming has been much neglected in the British Navy," observed Mr. PHILOOLY. "When there's a Parliament in Dublin we'll pass a law that not a sailor shall leave _terra firma_ till he can swim." * * * * * [Illustration: THE FRENCH WOLF AND THE SIAMESE LAMB.] * * * * * THE SCHOPENHAUER BALLADS. No. I.-THE AQUARIUM OCTOPUS. The world is full of pretty things That everyone admires, And beauty, even though skin-deep, Is what the world desires. I'm handicapped I feel in life, For very obvious reasons, And yet my family always think I'm lovely in all seasons! My time is principally passed In caverns under water, My family are mostly sharks, Except a mermaid daughter; She sings her songs and combs her hair To tempt unwary whalers, And when we lure them down below It's bad for those poor sailors. I cannot say I like the sea, The bottom, top, or middle. It's always asking, night and day, The same confounded riddle: "Why was I made, except to drown The surplus population?" This is the sad sea wave's remark At every sea-side station. It makes me think about myself-- Octopus too unsightly-- Which are my arms and which my legs I never can tell rightly; I frighten children--old and young-- Without the least intention, I saved a school from drowning once, But that I mustn't mention! I'm now at the Aquarium, A "side-show" much belauded, My antics, shown three times a day, Are very much applauded; The pay is not extremely large-- A weekly bare subsistence; I take it meekly, for it breaks The boredom of existence.