I'm Charge d'Affaires--"Siam?" _Oui._ Pour England je don't care one "d." Je prig le Mekong, Si je keep it not long-- They call me "Brigand!"--_Je le suis._ * * * * * MIND YOUR PEASE AND Q.'S.--_Q._ "Why did Sir DONALD CURRIE pair with Sir JOSEPH PEASE?"--No; we are not going to say anything about "PEASE and CURRIE" going together--we scorn getting a rice out of you that way--besides, this dish has been overdone. But the simple answer is, that as Sir DONALD couldn't get any other pair this one was a "_Pease aller_." [We're better now. "Pax!"] * * * * * THE RULE OF THE SEA. (_For the Use of Admirers of the Admiralty._) _Question._ What is your duty as a sailor in Her Majesty's Fleet? _Answer._ To carry out the orders of my superiors. _Q._ If you were told that black was white what would you say? _A._ That white was black. _Q._ If you were informed that two and two made five would you believe it? _A._ Certainly, and insist that those who thought four was the proper answer had been gravely misinformed. _Q._ Would you believe a captain to be always in the right? _A._ Yes, from a lieutenant's point of view. Although, of course, I should consider him the weakest of authorities in the presence of an admiral. _Q._ Would you ever act upon your own responsibility? _A._ Never; as such a course would be destructive to good discipline. _Q._ Then, if you were told to perform an impossible man[oe]uvre you would attempt to do it? _A._ Certainly. _Q._ Even if you saw that the result must be disaster? _A._ Yes. I should choose the lesser of two evils. _Q._ To what two evils do you refer? _A._ Loss of life by my obedience, and loss of discipline by my disobedience. _Q._ Which would be the smaller of the two disasters? _A._ The loss of life. _Q._ But did not NELSON solve a problem of a somewhat similar character by using his blind eye? _A._ Yes; but then NELSON was unique. * * * * * AN AUSTRALIAN A B C.