* * * * * CURIOUS CRICKET ANOMALY. When a batsman has piled up a hundred, or more, Though five twenties he's hit, he has made but "a score." * * * * * JUST SUE! When a smart cove "sues" a sweet girl, for her hand, Then sueing is soft and as sweet as a peach. But e'en sueing comes bitter, you'll all understand, When he bolts, and _she_ sues _him_--"for Breach!" A true suitor may suit her, but, faithless, the brute Deserves what he'll get, a complete change of suit! * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Lords, Monday, July 24._--Haven't heard much of House of Lords this Session. Will take the floor presently, and show Commons how Legislation should be conducted. For weeks and months they've been slaving round Home-Rule Bill. Noble Lords, with fuller experience, and heaven-born aptitude, undertake to polish it off in a week. Meanwhile have had less work than usual to do. Might even have made long Summer holiday. Patriotically insisted upon meeting four times a week, to show, to whom it may concern, that at least they are ready for work. To-night suddenly blazed forth with amazing vigour. Old friend EVELYN BARING, taking his seat under new style, Lord CROMER, agreeably surprised; House almost full; Opposition in high feather; cheered CADOGAN and the MARKISS with rare enthusiasm. "I suppose the question is either the Church or the Land?" said CROMER, looking up his Orders of the Day. "Heard in Egypt those were only subjects that made you sit up." "There's one other," said CARRINGTON, to whom remark was addressed; "though you will say it practically comes to the same thing. It's Mr. G. Anything connected with him ruffles House with sudden storm. Mr. G. made HOUGHTON Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. HOUGHTON a charming fellow; popular in both camps; but being Mr. G.'s selection for the Viceroyalty, we--I mean they--are bound to go for him." Went for him to-night hammer and tongues. CADOGAN, not usually a peer of bloodthirsty aspect, clenched his teeth with ominous vigour when he discovered HOUGHTON was not present. Had sent him special invitation, he explained. Had even gone so far as to leave to him choice of date for his execution. "And now," cried CADOGAN, glaring round the appalled House, "his Excellency is not here!" His absence commented on with towering vigour. Lord Lieutenant's procedure, in his dealing with addresses, "dishonest, dishonourable, discreditable to all concerned," said CADOGAN, by way of final shot, intended to sink whole Ministerial Bench.