Well, well, I called on STEAD, you know; a doctor's talk of diet is, And STEAD'S was of his psychic food as cure for my anxieties. I thought I'd take a chair to sit (it looked to me quite common) on, "You can't sit there," observed the Sage; "that's merely a phenomenon." Two ladies, as I entered, seemed expressing of their gratitudes For help received to Mr. STEAD in sentimental attitudes; They saw me, pirouetted twice, then vanished with a high kick. "It's nothing," said the Editor; "they are not real, but psychic." These things, I own, surprised me much; I fidgetted uneasily; "Why, bless the man, he's had a shock!" said Mr. STEAD, quite breezily. "_We_ do these things the whole year round, it's merely knack to do them; A man who does them every day gets quite accustomed to them. This room of mine is full of ghosts,"--it sounded most funereal-- "I've only got to say the word to make them all material. I'll say it promptly, if you wish; they cannot well refuse me." But my eagerness had vanished, and I begged him to excuse me. "Now JULIA," he continued, "is in many ways a rum one, But, whatever else they say of her, they can't say she's a dumb one. She speaks--she's speaking now," he said. "I wonder what she'll tell us. What's that? She says she likes your looks; she wants to make me jealous." That gave me pause, and made me think 'twas fully time I went; it is A fearful thing to fascinate these bodiless non-entities. Of course when people go to Rome they act like folk at Rome, you know, But flirting didn't suit my book--I've got a wife at home, you know. Well, next I felt a gust of wind, "That's Colonel BONES," my host said; "He's dropped his helmet" (think of that, a helmet on a ghost's head). "I don't much care," he whispered this, "in fact, I can't endure him; Dragoons do use such awful words; I've tried in vain to cure him." I ventured to suggest to STEAD that rather than be bluffed I Would make this cursing soldier-ghost turn out in psychic mufti; He couldn't drop his helmet then, nor threaten with his sabre. "I've tried to," said the Editor, "it's only wasted labour. "I've sought advice," continued STEAD, "from CANTUAR and EBOR, They hinted that they couldn't stand a she-ghost and a he-bore. I tried to get a word or two from men of arts and letters, They said they drew the line at Spooks who made a noise with fetters. And when I talked of bringing men and ghostly shapes together The Bishops tapped their foreheads and conversed about the weather. In fact"--he grew quite petulant--"in all this world's immensity I'd back the Bench of Bishops to beat the rest in density."