* * * * * Punch, or the London Charivari Volume 105, December 16, 1893. _edited by Sir Francis Burnand_ * * * * * SEASONABLE SONNET. (_By a Vegetarian._) Yes, Christmas overtakes us yet once more. The Cattle Show has vanished in the mists Of time and Islington, but re-exists In piecemeal splendour at the store. Here, nightly, big boys blue are to the fore With knives and choppers in their greasy fists; And now, methinks, the wight who never lists Yet hears the brass band on the proud first floor. High over all rings "What d'ye buy, buy, buy?" The meat is decked with gay rosette and bow, While gas-jets beckon all the world and wife. A cheerful scene? A ghastly one, say I, Where mutilated corpses hang arow, And in the midst of death we are in life. * * * * * AS THEY LIKED IT.--We read of the recent success at Palmer's Theatre, New York, of _As You Like It_, with all the parts played by women. Of course, everybody knows that this was a complete reversal of the practice of the stage in SHAKSPEARE'S own day, when the buskin was on the other leg, so to speak; but we are not told if the passage "Doublet and hose ought to show itself courageous to petticoat" was transposed to "Petticoat ought to show itself courageous to doublet and hose." * * * * * THIS SETTLED IT.--"He may be irritable," observed Mrs. R., "but remember the old saying that 'Irritation is the sincerest form of flattery.'" * * * * * [Illustration: ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK. _Critic._ "HOW'S THE _BOOK_ GOING, OLD MAN?" _Author._ "OH--ALL RIGHT, I FANCY. THE PRESS HAS NOTICED IT ALREADY. YESTERDAY'S _ROSELEAVES_ HAILS ME AS THE COMING _THACKERAY_!" _Critic._ "AH, _I_ WROTE THAT!" _Author._ "DID YOU REALLY? HOW CAN I THANK YOU? ON THE OTHER HAND, THIS WEEK'S _KNACKER_ SAYS THAT I'VE BEEN FORTUNATELY ARRESTED BY MADNESS ON THE ROAD TO IDIOTCY!" _Critic._ "AH, I WROTE THAT TOO!"] * * * * * A PLEA FOR PLEADINGS. DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Last week I begged for a chance for the Briefless, and the only reply has been, that by a few strokes of the pen the Judges have ruined and undone the Junior Bar. On a day which will be known henceforth in the Temple as Bad Friday, we read the new Rules, by which in future it will be possible to have an action--_without pleadings!_ Statement of Claim, Defence, Reply, Rejoinder--all disappear into a beggarly "Summons for Directions," that can be drawn by a solicitor's office-boy. Of course, amongst the silks, the change will, no doubt, be popular. These learned gentlemen can with a light heart and a heavy pocket welcome the change, which will get rid of the pleadings which it is merely a nuisance to read. But what is to become of us whose business it is to draw them?