Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 16, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 December 16, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Suddenly the Croupier sprang from his seat, threw off his loose
outer coat, and displayed the well-known uniform of an Officer in
Her Majesty's Royal Shropshire Yeomanry Carabineers. All the other
Croupiers did the same. Astonishment and dismay were depicted on the
countenances of the players.
"Gentlemen," said the Croupier, "I am sorry to say you are all my
prisoners. Resist, and you will be shot without mercy!"
"But I had just staked twenty thousand Louis on the black!" ejaculated
a bewildered Gaul.
"You have lost your stake, Monsieur," replied the Croupier, with
politeness. "It is red, not black;" and, in a moment, all the English
visitors who thronged the rooms had also thrown off _their_ overcoats,
and the hall was filled with red-coats.
"Treachery! _Perfide Alb_----" the Gaul shouted; but ere he could
rise from his seat to give the alarm to the Toulon garrison, as he had
fully intended doing, a hundred swords (made in Birmingham) had passed
simultaneously through his body. Their stakes fell from the trembling
hands of the players.
"Then are we to understand," asked another Frenchman, who had
somewhat recovered from the first shock of surprise, "that the English
Government has suppressed Sablettes-les-Bains because it disapproves
of the game of _Petits-Chevaux_?"
"Not at all," replied the Croupier-Officer. "It is a military
_coup-de-main_, that's all. The English company running this place,
was, of course, in the pay of the British War Office. By a prearranged
system of signals we have been making known everything that is going
on at Toulon to the British Admiral out at sea. You may perhaps have
noticed what an extremely large orchestra took part in last night's
free classical concert; they were English marines disguised as
musicians. And the gardens attached to the Casino, which rival those
of Monte Carlo, what do you think those grassy slopes crowned with
olives and orange-trees are in reality? Why, the artfully-contrived
glacis of the impregnable fortress inside which you are now standing,
and which I have the honour to command!"
Just then the booming of cannon was heard outside.
"It is our guns playing on the defences of Toulon!" exclaimed the
Officer. "Toulon is ours!"
And the treacherous Britons, having cleared the tables of the
five-franc pieces still remaining on them, proceeded, with the aid of
the Germans and Italians, to the dismemberment of France.
* * * * *
Nautical Economy.
["It is no use our building ships without the men to man
them."--_Times' Correspondent._]
PROVERB suggested by the above:--"Do not spoil the ship for a pound
of tar."
* * * * *
NOVEL PROCEEDING.--New Issue, _Japhet in Search of Something
Farther_. By MARRIOTT.
* * * * *
LAW AND JUSTICE _v._ DUTY "DONE."
(_An Imaginary Conversation._)
SCENE--_Opposite the Griffin_.
TIME--_The present day_.
_Enter two well-known personages._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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