_Young Sportsman_ (_to his small nephew, the Parson's son_). "HELLO! JIMMIE! WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT ON THE PONY? YOU'LL NEVER BE A MAN IF YOU DON'T HUNT." _Jimmie._ "NOW LISTEN TO THAT, MOTHER! THERE'S UNCLE JACK SAYS I SHALL NEVER BE A MAN IF I _DON'T_. THERE'S FATHER SAYS IT'S CRUELTY IF I _DO_. THEN OLD JOHN SAYS I SHOULD BE LAMING THE PONY; AND YOU SAY THE PONY WOULD BE LAMING ME! WHAT AM I TO DO?"] * * * * * "A SINGLE-HANDED RUN." ["It is interesting to watch the methods of obstruction.... Progress (with the Parish Councils Bill) has been slow enough, but it is impeded with an artfulness which indicates a certain division of labour among the different sections of the Unionist army. The first section includes the Liberal Unionists, whose _rôle_ is ... to take no overt part in the game of mere talkativeness; the second is the official Tories, who mostly hate the Bill ... and lose no opportunity of expressing a guarded but thoroughly sincere distrust of every portion of it; the third section consists of the go-as-you-please Lowtherites--the mere guerillas, who are allowed to obstruct as much and as long as they please."--_"House and Lobby" in the "Daily Chronicle."_] (_Rough, and rather amateurish, reporter's mems. picked up on the St. Stephen's Football Grounds during the progress of the big match, Midlothian United_ v. _Unionists. See illustration, p. 266._) Football at St. Stephen's looking up! Fine exponents of the Rugby game. Strong combinations, "Midlothian United" and "Unionists" met to decide great--postponed--fixture. Though weather favourable, failed somehow to attract the large crowd usual at matches between these two "sides" of far-famed amateurs. Enthusiastic followers of the game, however, who turned up in adequate numbers, rewarded by sight of good, if slow and unexciting game. Both sides well represented, and the homesters, who won the toss, played first half from pavilion end of ground, having wind, which was blowing across ground, a trifle in their favour. "Midlothian United," famous team, better known as "GLADSTONE'S Men," play well together, and are strong lot, though less speedy perhaps than their opponents. "Unionists" indeed (made up from two admirable teams at one time opponents) an extremely clever, not to say artful, combination. As pick of anciently opposed sides, wonderful how well they are together, and how unselfishly they play the game. "Midlothian United" team (which has undergone numerous changes of late) also fairly well together, and admirably captain'd.