Quack! Quack! Quack! It is time that cry to quelch By Law--or else to treat the quacks like sorry rogues who "welsh"; And if Dulcamara's really safe, until the Law they alter, Why honest men must see to it, nor in their purpose falter Till rascals of "gross ignorance," in foul gregarious pack, Can no longer _safely_ victimise with quack, quack, quack! * * * * * [Illustration: THE LION AT HOME. _The Hope and Pride of the Family (just home from the Grand Tour)._ "OH, REALLY, YOU KNOW, THE MEN ONE MEETS IN SOME OF THOSE PLACES OUT WEST! I SAID TO MYSELF EVERY NIGHT, 'WELL, THANK HEAVEN I HAVEN'T SHOT ANYBODY!'" _Fond and Nervous Mother._ "YOU MEAN, THANK HEAVEN NOBODY SHOT YOU, DON'T YOU, DEAR?"] * * * * * A WORD TO THE WISE WHEELMAN. THE SPEAKER, at Warwick, said that "the bicyclists of the day are debilitating and degenerating the human race by the way in which they stoop over their work." The wheelmen would probably retort that, like GOLDSMITH'S sprightly heroine, they "stoop to conquer." And we are not yet _all_ wheelmen. Still, the SPEAKER has hit a blot in the contemporary Cyclomania. Few things are more unlovely than the "Bicyclist's Bend." Record-cutting would be purchased dearly at the cost of making men look like camels; and if success on the cinderpath or the road involved giving humanity at large "the hump," one would stigmatise the Cycle Race as the _In_human Race. Let us hope the SPEAKER'S sharp words will make our stooping cyclists "sit up"--in other than the slangy sense of the phrase. * * * * * Birds of Pray. We're told a cormorant sits, and doth not tire, For a whole month, perched upon Newark spire! VINNY BOURNE'S jackdaw's beaten, it is clear. Yet there _are_ cormorants who, year after year, Perch in the Church. But these omnivorous people Favour the pulpit mostly, not the steeple. Thrivers upon fat livings find, no doubt, Cormorant within is cosier than without. * * * * * CREAM OF THE CREAM.--"London Society proper"--we are informed by Lady CHARLES BERESFORD--consists of no more than thirty or forty families! And how about London Society _improper_? Is _that_ equally sparse and exclusive? And--terrible thought!--crucial question!--is it possible that the two orders _overlap_ at all? That there are any "noble swells" who belong to both? * * * * * THE GOVERNMENT'S PUBLIC POLICY IN SOUTH AFRICA (ACCORDING TO MR. SYDNEY BUXTON).--_Not_ "CARRINGTON'S Entire"! * * * * * UNDER THE ROSE. (_A Story in Scenes_).