Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105, October 14th 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105, October 14th 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Sighting Ventnor_.--The man "who knows everything" informs us that this
is Bonchurch, which information a man with a book has of course felt
himself bound to correct. The latter tells us that it is a place called
Undercliff (which nobody for one moment believes), and both informants
are put right by a mariner with a map, who points out all the places
correctly, and confides to us in a husky voice that "that ere place
among the trees is Ventnor."
More shower-bathing; the fore-part of the vessel quite cleared by the
attacking waves.
However, "it soon dries off," says a jolly middle-aged gentleman in a
summer suit, drenched from tip of collar to toe of boot.
Being well out at sea (how many are never "_well_ out at sea"!), we
catch sight of Bonchurch and the landslip. Of course we gay nautical
dogs pity the poor lubbers ashore who "live at home at ease," and who
are probably suffering from intense---- (Here my remarks, made to a
jovial companion on a camp-stool, are interrupted by a blob in the eye
from a wave. On recovery I forget what I was going to say, but fancy
"the missing word" is "heat.")
Passing Sandown. Of course the well-informed person says, "This is where
the races are," and equally of course he is immediately contradicted by
a reduced chorus of bystanders, who pity his deplorable ignorance. Total
discomfiture of well-informed person. He disappears. "Gone below," like
a Demon in a pantomime at the appearance of the Good Fairy.
Nice place Sandown apparently, where, it being 1.30, the happy
Wight-islanders are probably sitting down in comfort to a nice hot
lunch, while we, the jovial mariners--well, no matter. I shall wait till
I can lunch ashore.
Our arrangements are to land at Southsea, where (so we were given to
understand) we ought to be at 2 P.M. But already it is 2 P.M., and I
dive into my provision-pocket for a broken biscuit. ... An interior
voice whispers that the broken biscuit was a mistake. I tremble. False
alarm. Southsea!! Saved!! But we are forty minutes late, and our time
for refreshment is considerably curtailed.
We crowd off through a sort of black-hole passage. Debarking and
re-embarking might be very easily managed on a much more comfortable
plan. We pay one penny for the pier-toll, and we make for the hotel at
the entrance to the pier. Any port in a storm. Cold luncheon is ready
for those who can take it, that is, one in six.
_Back again_.--Past Cowes and Ryde. Weather lovely; sea calm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account