Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Mr. Toov._ (_to himself_). Oh, dear me, she's seen the flap! Why
do they put the name outside--so thoughtless of them! (_He opens
the letter._) Yes, it _is_ the order. I _can't_ show it to CORNELIA!
(_Aloud._) I--I told you I was making inquiries.
_Mrs. Toov._ About CHARLES'S habits? So you've written to the Manager,
without consulting me! Well--what does he say?
_Mr. Toov._ (_to himself_). I don't like these deceptions--but I
_must_ consider poor CHARLES. (_Aloud._) Oh--hum--very little, my
love, very little indeed, but satisfactory--most satisfactory--he's no
complaint to make of CHARLES--none whatever!
_Mrs. Toov._ As if it was likely you would get the truth from such a
tainted source! Let me see his letter.
_Mr. Toov._ (_pocketing the letter again, hastily_). No, my dear
love, you must excuse me--but this is a private and confidential
communication, and--and, in common fairness to CHARLES--I'll trouble
you for another cup of tea. (_To himself._) It's for this very night.
I've a great mind not to go. How am I to make an excuse for getting
away? (_Aloud._) I've half a mind to run up some time, and--and look
in on CHARLES.
_Mrs. Toov._ (_to herself_). If CHARLES is misconducting himself, I
ought to know--and I _will_, sooner or later. I'm sure THEOPHILUS is
keeping something from me. (_Aloud._) I've only put in one lump, Pa.
You may find him at home if you went up this afternoon.
_Mr. Toov._ (_relieved_). An excellent suggestion, my love. I _will_
go this afternoon. He--he might ask me to stay and dine with him; so
if--if I don't come back, you'll know where I am--eh? You won't be
anxious?
_Mrs. Toov._ (_to herself_). He's trying to spare me, but I can see
he's _most_ uneasy about CHARLES. (_Aloud._) Well, Pa, I don't like
the idea of your dining out without me--it will be the first time for
years--but still, I shall have to be away myself this evening;
there's a special meeting of the Zenana Mission Committee, and Mrs.
CUMBERBATCH made such a point of my attending--so, if you feel you
really _ought_ to see CHARLES----
_Mr. Toov._ Oh. I _do_, my dear. He--he wants looking after. And
perhaps, if I could have a little quiet, serious talk with him, after
dinner--or over a game of draughts. (_To himself._) What a dissembler
I've become; but I _do_ mean to look in on CHARLES, before I go to
this Eldorado place, and there _may_ be time for a game of draughts!
_Mrs. Toov._ You would learn more, THEOPHILUS, by putting a few
questions to his landlady. But remember, when you come back, I shall
insist on being told everything--_everything_, mind!
_Mr. Toov._ Oh, of course, my love, of course. (_To himself._) If my
visit proves satisfactory, I--I might tell her. It will depend on how
I feel--entirely on how I feel.
END OF SCENE VI.
SCENE VII.--_The Drawing-room. It is after luncheon._ Mrs.
TOOVEY _is sitting knitting_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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