* * * * * A WORD TO THE WEATHERWISE. [_Sir John Bridge_: Don't you think there is a great deal of chance as to the weather we are to have to-morrow? _Mr. Muir Mackenzie_: No. _Sir John Bridge_: The mass of mankind think there is. _Mr. Muir Mackenzie_: Unfortunately the mass of mankind are very ignorant.--Bow Street Police Court, Wednesday, September 6.] Oh, Mr. MUIR MACKENZIE! we're right glad To hear this news of meteorology. Farewell to all the many doubts we've had, The thing's as easy now as A B C. _You_ know to-morrow's weather at a glance, So, though we would not willingly o'ertask you, When next we seek the weather in advance, We'll simply drop a letter-card to ask you. * * * * * A CURE.--"No," said Mrs. R., after some consideration, "although I do feel a touch of rheumatism now and then, yet I do not fancy going abroad for treatment. There's some place where you drink waters and take a bath, and then are tucked up in bed for the remainder of the day. It's in Germany, I fancy, and I think they call the place _Underdelinen_." * * * * * A HINT. You read my verse; the praises you bestow Can make innocuous the critic's curse, Vain his attack, unfelt his shrewdest blow, _You_ read my verse. You like the rhymes; think not their writer worse If just one hint he cannot well forego, The bard, to put it in a manner terse, Does not exist on praise alone, you know, And sympathy can hardly fill his purse;-- You borrow, and you do not _buy_, although You read my verse! * * * * * "GONE NAP!"--It is all up with Mr. G.! The distinguished M.P. for St. Pancras, in whose lineaments _Mr. Punch_ traced a marked resemblance to the features of the Great Emperor of the French, and there and thenceforth raising him from the rank of Mr. PELL as he was formerly known, immediately christening him "NAPOLEON BOLTONPARTY" (with likeness drawn by LIKA-JOKO), even he has joined the Unionist Opposition. He is no longer "Going Nap," he has gone. Doubtless, Conservatives have their eye on him: but NAPOLEON BOLTONPARTY is too wary to be caught "napping." * * * * * [Illustration: INEXPENSIVE HOSPITALITY. _Fussy Wife._ "MY DEAR, WHAT COULD HAVE INDUCED YOU TO INVITE ALL THOSE PEOPLE? WHY, OUR LITTLE DINING-ROOM WON'T HOLD THEM! AND FOR A SUNDAY, TOO!!" _Sagacious Husband._ "MY DEAR, DON'T FUSS YOURSELF! THERE IS A SORT OF A '_DON'T-DINE-OUT-ON-A-SUNDAY_' LOOK ABOUT THEM WHICH MADE IT PERFECTLY SAFE!"] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.