That life is a sell we most of us know, But Doctor BURDON SANDERSON tells It began in a cell oh! aeons ago! And Progress is merely the growth of cells. And is _that_ what you were fashioned for Our "unicellular ancestor"? "The specific energy of cells" Is a taking phrase, but what does it mean? Is it merely the Life that in most things dwells, Or must we go reading the lines between, To find what you really were fashioned for, Our "unicellular ancestor"? Words, words, words! What matter if They're scientific and pseudo-oracular. Or, scouting a terminology stiff, Couched in sciolist's plain vernacular! _Do_ they tell us what you were fashioned for, Our "unicellular ancestor"? BURDON'S burden, like VILLON'S of old Leaves us a prey to doubt and fear. Your meaning and purpose when _shall_ we be told Oh cells--or snows--of yester-year? Or what you truly were fashioned for Our "unicellular ancestor"? * * * * * THE MODERN "TENDER" PASSION.--Bimetallism. * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons, Monday, September 11._--ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS walking about the Lobby with a new foot-rule obtrusively held in his hand. Thought at first he was going to probe somebody, after the fashion of SWIFT MACNEILL, in rare access of ferocity. "No," he said, when I asked him if that was his business; "we are presently going to debate question of appointment of Duke of CONNAUGHT to command at Aldershot. I want to know precisely how far out of the line of fighting the Duke was at Tel-el-Kebir. You know CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN'S suave manner. When I put question to him, he'll say, 'How can I tell the Hon. Member, not having a foot rule in my pocket.' As soon as he says that, I whip this out; he will sit confounded, and either we shall get at the truth of a matter with which country is deeply concerned, or CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN must go. I have no personal interest in such a contingency. If there were a vacancy at the War Office, it is, of course, quite possible that Mr. G. might think of me. I fancy in Committee on the Army Estimates I have shown I know a thing or two. But that is neither here nor there. It will be time to decide on the offer when it is made, if indeed prejudices, from which even Liberal Ministry are not free, do not stand in the way. At present I want to know, within a foot or two--no one can say I'm unreasonable--how far off the fighting the Duke of CONNAUGHT stood, and CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN will have to answer the question." [Illustration: A HOUSE OF APOLLO-TICIANS--AS SEEN BY THEMSELVES.]