Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 September 23, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 September 23, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
From the venerable appearance of the brass plate I had expected to
see a rather elderly dentist, with possibly white hair and certainly
spectacles; so I was rather taken aback when a dapper young fellow,
who seemed about the age of "Master SAMMY," entered the waiting-room.
The juvenile new-comer made himself master of the situation. He
seized upon the jaw of poor trembling GEORGE LEWIS BOLTON ROLLIT, and
declared that "it must come out."
"He'd better have gas," he observed. "But as I am full of engagements
this morning, you really must let me fix a time."
Then he took out a pocket-book which I could not help noticing
contained such items as "Soda-water--3_s._," "Washing--5_s._," and
"Church collection--6_d._," and placed our name and time amidst the
other entries.
We kept our appointment. The buttons was in a state of excitement. Mr.
LEO ARMSTRONG received us, and pointed to the gas apparatus with
an air of triumph, as if he had had some difficulty in getting it
entrusted to him in consequence of his youth. Then "Master SAMMY" made
his appearance. He was going to administer the gas. It was a pleasant
family party, and I felt quite parental. Had it not been for poor
GEORGE LEWIS BOLTON ROLLIT'S swollen face, I should have said to Mr.
LEO ARMSTRONG, "Master SAMMY," my boy, and the buttons, "Here, lads,
let us make a day of it. I will take you all to Madame TUSSAUD'S and
the Zoological Gardens."
"You have had the gas, haven't you?" said "Master SAMMY," who had been
fumbling with the apparatus. "How do you put it on?"
Poor GEORGE LEWIS BOLTON ROLLIT, under protest, described the _modus
operandi_. Then the mouth was opened, and "Master SAMMY" applied the
gas. I am sorry to say he performed the operation rather clumsily, and
my poor lad never "went off." GEORGE LEWIS BOLTON ROLLIT subsequently
described every detail of the performance, and said that he had
suffered excruciating pain. Then Mr. LEO ARMSTRONG went to work, and,
after several struggles, got out a bit of tooth, and then another.
Then GEORGE LEWIS BOLTON ROLLIT came to himself, and the usual
comforts were supplied to him.
"I think there's a bit of the tooth still in the gum," said Mr.
LEO ARMSTRONG; and then, after a pause, with the air of Jack Horner
pulling out a plum, he produced an immense pair of forceps from the
instrument drawer. "There." he added, triumphantly, as he exhibited
another piece of ivory, "I told you so!"
GEORGE LEWIS BOLTON ROLLIT had now sufficiently recovered to complain
bitterly of the pain he had suffered.
"Impossible," I observed; "remember this is _painless_ dentistry."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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