But see! What shines from the dark flood there As a swan's soft plumage white? A thin, wan face, scant, wave-washed hair, And arms that move with a summer's might. It is he, and lo! in his left hand high He waveth the goblet exultingly! He is breathing deep, he is gasping long, As he clings to a rock--for his strength half fails. "By Jove, he has got it!" yelled forth the throng, "He lives! he is safe!" But he pants, he pales! The Grand Old Diver the goblet grips! Will he live to lift it wine-brimmed to his lips? * * * * * * * * * * [Illustration: "SUNT LACHRYMÆ RERUM--NOS ET MUTAMUR IN ILLIS!" _Old Adonis (gazing at his bust, which was done in the early Fifties)._ "AH! IT NEVER DID ME JUSTICE! AND IT GETS LESS AND LESS LIKE ME EVERY DAY!"] * * * * * CURE-IOUS! Saw advertisement to-day, "Wanted, a few hopeless Drunkards," from a person who has a new Patent Remedy for Dipsomania. Fancy that I answer the description. Why should I not apply? Funds rather low just at present, and I might get the price of a few bottles of gin out of this Anti-Alcoholic Enthusiast. He asks us to "apply by letter." Better to see if it's all a hoax or not. Shall go in person. Have just made my application. Four other inebriates had also gone in person. They were in the waiting-room when I arrived, in advanced stage of _delirium tremens_. Scandalous! All of them had fiery serpents coming out of their boots, too, which they set at me directly I appeared. What the police are about in allowing such people at large I cannot understand. Obliged to defend myself against the serpents. I believe a shindy ensued, and I was accused--most unjustly--of being intoxicated, whereas I had purposely abstained from taking more than half a bottle of neat Cognac that morning, in order to have my head quite clear for the interview. However, had a chat with the Enthusiast, who said he thought I would "do very well." Wants me to get a couple of "good testimonials" from my friends, saying that I have "really made a hopeless beast of myself for at least two years past." Rather awkward this, as most of my old chums refuse to see me now. Such is friendship!