Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105, September 9, 1893Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105, September 9, 1893
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Mr. Toovey (reading)._ "With what a mixture of indescribable emotions
did I find myself actually standing upon the very brink ----" (_To
himself, as he puts the volume down_) It's no use, I can't concentrate
my mind on Palestine to-night, I can't forget this horrible
"Eldorado." Ever since I got that official warrant, or demand, or
whatever it was, yesterday, I've been haunted by the name. It seems
to meet me everywhere; even on the very hoardings! Why, _why_ didn't I
invest Aunt ELIZA'S legacy in consols, as CORNELIA told me, instead
of putting it into a gold-mine? I think LARKINS said it was a
_gold_-mine. If only I had never met him that day last year--but he
seemed to think he was doing me such a favour in letting me have some
of his shares at all; he'd been allotted more than he wanted, he told
me, and he was so confident the Company was going to be a success that
I--and now, after hearing nothing all this time, I'm suddenly called
upon to pay a hundred and seventy-five pounds, and that's only for one
half year, as far as I can make out.... How can I draw a cheque for
all that without CORNELIA finding out? I never dared tell her, and she
overlooks all my accounts. Why did I, who have never been a follower
after Mammon, fall so easily into that accursed mine? I am no business
man. All the time I was a partner in that floorcloth factory, I
never interfered in the conduct of it, beyond signing my name
occasionally--which was all they allowed me to do--and they took the
earliest opportunity of buying me out. And yet I must needs go
and speculate with Aunt ELIZA'S five hundred pounds, and--what is
worse--lose every penny, and more! I, a Churchwarden, looked up to by
every member of an Evangelical congregation, the head of a household
like this!... How shall I ever tell CORNELIA? And yet I must--I never
had a secret from her in my life. I shall know no peace till I have
confessed all. I _will_ confess--this very night--when we are alone.
If I could speak to CHARLES first, or to that young Mr. CURPHEW--they
will both be here to supper--and CHARLES is in a Solicitor's office.
But my nephew is too young, and Mr. CURPHEW, though he _is_ a
journalist, is wise and serious beyond his years--and if, as CORNELIA
thinks, he is beginning to feel a tenderness for ALTHEA, why, it might
cause him to reconsider his---- No, I can't tell anyone but my wife.
(_Sounds are heard in the hall._) There they are!--they are back from
Church--already! (_He catches up his book._) I must try to be calm.
She must not notice anything at present!
_Mrs. T. (outside)._ I've left my things downstairs, PH[OE]BE; you can
take them up to my room. (_Entering._) Well, Pa, I hope you feel less
poorly than you did, after your quiet evening at home?
_Mr. T. (flurried)._ Yes, my love, yes. I--I've had a peaceful time
with _Peregrinations in Palestine_. A--a most absorbing book, my love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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