PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 107. AUGUST 4, 1894. * * * * * SPORT FOR RATEPAYERS. _August 1st._--Deer-shooting in Victoria Park commences. _2nd._--Distribution of venison to "Progressive" County Councillors and their families--especially to Aldermen. _3rd._--Stalking American bison in the Marylebone disused grave-yard is permitted from this day. A staff of competent surgeons will be outside the palings. _4th._--Chamois-coursing in Brockwell Park. _5th._--A few rogue elephants having been imported (at considerable expense to the rates), and located in the Regent's Park, the Chairman of the L. C. C., assisted by the Park-keepers, will give an exhibition of the method employed in snaring them. The elephants in the Zoological Gardens will be expected to assist. _6th._--_Bank Holiday._--Popular festival on Hampstead Heath. Two herds of red deer will be turned on to the Heath at different points, and three or four specially procured man-eating Bengal tigers will be let loose at the Flag-staff to pursue them. Visitors may hunt the deer or the tigers, whichever they prefer. Express rifles recommended, also the use of bullet-proof coats. No dynamite to be employed against the tigers. Ambulances in the Vale of Health. The Council's Band, up some of the tallest trees, will perform musical selections. _7th._--Races at Wormwood Scrubbs between the Council's own ostriches and leading cyclists. A force of the A1 Division of the Metropolitan Police, mounted on some of the reindeer from the enclosure at Spring Gardens, will be stationed round the ground to prevent the ostriches escaping into the adjoining country. _8th._--Sale of ostrich feathers (dropped in the contests) to West-End bonnet-makers at Union prices. _9th._--Grand review of all the Council's animals on Clapham Common. Procession through streets (also at Union rate). Banquet on municipal venison, tiger chops, elephant steaks, and ostrich wings at Spring Gardens. Progressive fireworks. * * * * * [Illustration: GENEROSITY. _Andrew (preparing to divide the orange)._ "WILL YOU CHOOSE THE BIG HALF, GEORGIE, OR THE WEE HALF?" _George._ "'COURSE I'LL CHOOSE THE BIG HALF." _Andrew (with resignation)._ "THEN I'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE 'EM EVEN."] * * * * * RATHER A CHANGE--FOR THE BETTER.--They (the dockers) wouldn't listen to BEN TILLETT. They cried out to him, "We keep you and starve ourselves." Hullo! the revolt of the sheep! are they beginning to think that their leaders and instigators are after all _not_ their best friends? "O TILLETT not in Gath!" And Little BEN may say to himself, "I'll wait TILL-ETT's over." * * * * * LINES IN PLEASANT PLACES. V.--SCHOOL. "A DISTANT VIEW."