Now, should I stop it, or should I take sides? BULL and the other onlookers seem fidgety! Cochin strikes hard, but indulges in "wides"; Game-cock _is_ game--though a little mite midgety. Well, whate'er the end be, and whichever win, I _think_ the game's mine, when I choose to cut in. _Cock-a-doodle-do-o-o-o!!!_ I'm safe for a dinner--off _one_ of the two! [_Left considering and chortling._ * * * * * THE WAR CRY. (_Dedicated (without permission) to the Pioneer Club_) Rouse ye, ye women, and flock to your banners! War is declared on the enemy, Man! If we can't teach him to better his manners, We'll copy the creature as close as we can! No longer the heel of the tyrant shall grind us. Rouse ye and rally! The despot defy! And the false craven shall tremble to find us Resolved to a woman to do or to die. _Chorus._ Then hey! for the latchkey, sweet liberty's symbol! Greet it, ye girls, with your lustiest cheer! Away with the scissors! Away with the thimble! And hey nonny no for the gay Pioneer! Why should we writhe on a clumsy side-saddle Designed on a most diabolical plan? Women! submit ye no longer! Ride straddle, And jump on the corns of your enemy, Man! Storm the iniquitous haunts of his pleasure, Leave him to nurse the dear babes when they fret, Dine at St. James' in luxurious leisure, And woo the delights of the sweet cigarette! Look to your latchkeys! The whole situation Upon the possession of these will depend. Use them, ye women, without hesitation, And dine when ye will with a gentleman friend. Man's a concoction of sin and of knavery-- Women of India, China, Japan! Rouse ye, and end this inglorious slavery! Down with the tyrant! Down, down with the Man! * * * * * THE BANK HOLIDAY DREAM BOOK. (_Compiled by our Pet Pessimist._) If you imagine that it will be fine, and consequently that you can don the lightest of attire, you may be sure that it will be cold and wet, and absolutely unsuitable to travelling. If you fancy that you will enjoy a delightful visit to some intimate friends, you will find that you have had your journey to a spot "ten miles from anywhere" for nothing, as your intended hosts have gone abroad for the season. If you believe that you are seeing a favourite piece being played admirably at a West End theatre, you will discover that the programme was altered four days ago, and that the temple of the drama will not reopen until the autumn. If you arrange to go abroad with a friend, you will quarrel with your acquaintance on the following morning, and disarrange your plans for a lifetime.