When the century, growing a little bit mellow, Produces carnations outrageously green; When you notice a delicate, dairy-like yellow Adorn the pale face of the best margarine; When canaries, all warranted excellent singers, Are sold in the street for a shilling apiece, But at home all the yellow comes off on your fingers, Substrata of brown making daily increase; When a lady you happen to meet on a Monday With hair that is grey, and with cheeks that are old, Appears shortly after, the following Sunday, With rosy complexion, and tresses of gold; When a nursemaid has one of the worst scarlet-fevers, Or merely, it may be, a fit of the blues; When you're offered "Old Masters" as black as coal-heavers, Or shirts of quite "fast" unwashoutable hues; When a blue ribbon's equally known as denoting Teetotal fanatics, a Rad, or a Tory-- In these and like cases too num'rous for quoting Remember old VIRGIL, "_Ne crede colori._" * * * * * THE CHRONICLES OF A RURAL PARISH. VI.--PREPARING FOR THE POLL. When I do a thing, I like to do it properly, for even my worst enemies, who call me a fool, admit that I'm a _thorough_ fool. I have accordingly lost no time in getting to work at my electoral campaign. I commenced at a great disadvantage. The other seven candidates were electioneering for a week before the Parish Meeting, and the result was that they all polled three times as many votes as I did. That has happened once. I don't intend that it shall happen more than once. [Illustration: "Vote for Winkins--a good All-round Man."] The first move I made was to cover my house with placards. I noticed that in a recent election Mr. ATHELSTON RILEY had pursued these tactics with great success, so I plastered the whole of the walls with "WINKINS FOR MUDFORD"--"VOTE FOR WINKINS,"--but thereby hangs a tale. I gave my instructions to the local printer, and told him where they were to be posted, directing him to do it in the twilight, so that the whole effect might dawn once and for ever upon an astonished village in the morning. He did it, but unfortunately he didn't keep a proof-reader. I noticed next day, before I went out, that all the school-children looked up at the house and giggled. I thought it was merely the inappreciativeness of the youthful mind. There I was wrong. It was the fact that the children knew how to spell that caused the mischief. My house was covered with appeals to "WOTE FOR VINKINS!" It did not take long to get new bills printed, but I am not disposed to deny I was a trifle disconcerted by this false start.