OWEN in her graceful movements, and the sextet with its merry music and its laughing dance, are things to see and hear. [Illustration: "Up in the morning early."] * * * * * ENGLISH AS SHE IS CRAMMED. The Oxford Board of Studies will conduct an examination in 1896 for the new Final School of English Language and Literature. The following preliminary paper is to be set:-- ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE. _Time allowed--18 months._ [Questions are to be answered either in Gothic or Icelandic, according to the taste and fancy of the candidate. The dates of the _vivâ voce_ "Chatter about SHELLEY," and "Scandal about Queen ELIZABETH," will be announced shortly. Evening dress optional. Smoking and Bohemian Concert to follow. See Handbills.] 1. Write out the English Alphabet as inaccurately as possible; and distinguish between great A and the track of a duck. 2. Translate the following unheard-of passage from BEOWULF:-- Tuinchael .... lytl ... Haui onedr hwatuar Uppabuvye wereld sohi Lika ... ynneye ... Supply the _lacunæ_ in the text. Candidates may send in as many solutions as they please, provided each is accompanied with a shilling Postal Order. The total amount subscribed will be pooled among the winners, less ten per cent. for our commission. 3. Discuss the following:-- (α) When is a door not a negress? (β) What is the difference between hearing recitation and being bored? (γ) Why is HALL CAINE like a tenpenny nail? _Any_ replies to the above will be most thankfully received, and paid for at our usual rates. 4. "There was a very foolish, fond old man, Fourscore and upward, dwelling at Liskeard, Who said, I am not in my perfect mind; It is just as I feared, in very sooth, For, to deal plainly, four larks and a hen, Two hooting owls, and one small wren to boot, Did each one lodge last night within my beard." _King Lear_, Act IV., Sc. 6. Hence show, by internal evidence, that EDWARD LEAR wrote BAKESPEARE. 5. State the various questions to the following answer:--"Because there's a 'b' in both." 6. Give the meaning, if any, to the subjoined flowers of speech:--_cheese your patter_, _perform the negative_, _a runcible cat_, _cow-chilo_, _do a drag_, _a pale paradox_, _going tommy-dodd_, _dead-lurk a crib_, _the hush of the corn_, _ferjunt rarm_, _the mome-raths outgrabe_, and _filling up the cup_. 7. Trace the origin of the following legends:--(_a_) The old lady who travelled twice round the Inner Circle Railway against her wish; (_b_) The conversation between TOOLE and St. Peter about HENRY IRVING; (_c_) The leading journalist whose nose cost him £8,000 to colour; and mention any other chestnuts you may know of. 8. Compose a leader in the _Times_ style on Ballet-girls and their Little Ways; in _D. T._ phraseology on Quaternions; _à la Pink 'Un_ on the Delights of Sunday School; and in the best _Guardian_ manner in Defence of Prize-fighting.