Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 107, July 14th 1894Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 107, July 14th 1894
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
It was particularly hard lines, after getting Clause XXVII. through last
Wednesday with a majority of over half a hundred, to be compelled to
recommit Bill, in order that CLANCY might chortle, and REDMOND rage.
SQUIRE advised to resist; condemned from his own side when he yielded.
But what happened? At quarter past ten to-night Bill recommitted in
respect of this clause, and on stroke of midnight the whole thing was
done with.
"We Liberals," said the Member for SARK, "always know better than our
leaders. As there are many of us, and as we each take our individual
view, result somewhat chaotic. Good thing if in comparative leisure of
week end we think over how the Budget Bill was passed, and what would
have happened if we had worried the SQUIRE into going one of our diverse
ways."
_Business done._--Budget Bill.
_Tuesday._--Enter the apothecary. It was Cap'en TOMMY BOWLES who brought
him on. The last person in any one's mind. House in Committee on Army
Estimates; HANBURY to the fore. Bound to live up to the 534 speeches he
made and questions he put last year. TOMMY then beat him by fourteen,
and promises to be equally ahead in the current Session. The CAP'EN
hitherto had peculiar advantage, seeing that for many weeks he has been,
so to speak, cruising in home waters. Having been brought up on legacy
tax, teethed on death duties, TOMMY surprised himself and the House with
the command he displayed over intricacies of Budget Bill. HANBURY then
fell behind. Now, with House in Committee on Army Estimates, he can show
TOMMY a clean pair of heels, a spectacle in which that eminent and able
Marine may or may not take keen personal interest.
HANBURY began at once raising point of order; MELLOR ruled him out like
a shot; so went off on another tack. Adventured the startlingly novel
proposition that "promotion should be by merit." Enlarged on the theme
for twenty minutes; sat down only when he concluded that audience had
fully mastered the proposition, contemplation of which was new to their
bewildered mind.
It was at this stage TOMMY towed in the apothecary. He appeared on the
scene quite as abruptly as _Romeo's_ acquaintance in the streets of
Mantua:--
I do remember an apothecary,
And hereabout he dwells.
CAP'EN omitted details; but House gathered that his friend the
apothecary was, like _Romeo's_, meagre of looks, worn to the bones by
sharp misery. This condition engendered by circumstance that he had
been brooding in his needy shop, among the green earthen pots,
bladders, and musty seeds, remnants of packthread and old cakes of
roses, upon fact that whilst there are surgeon-majors in the Army, there
are no apothecary-majors. On behalf of his absent friend, TOMMY demanded
an explanation from SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WAR.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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