"No doubt. The clumsiness of acknowledgment is what makes the artist into an artisan. I am like Mr. BALFOUR, I do not hesitate to shoot--into my treasury the pearls of speech I have gathered from others, and then, ARCHIE, I shall not lack the art of personal allusion. If my characters go out into the village and see the village clergymen, I shall make him the Archbishop of CANTERBURY. People like it. They say it's rude, but they read the book and repeat the rudeness. I shall be frankly rude. Minor poets and authors and actors will all be fair game. You suggest the publisher may object. To tell you the truth, ANY MAN will publish for me. The book will succeed--it is only mediocrities who indulge in failure--and the public will tumble over one another in their mad rush to be dosed with epigrams of genius." "And I will write a flaming favourable notice in the _Dodo_." "You will do me no such unkindness, I am sure, my dear ARCHIE. To be appreciated is to be found out." And so plucking as they went the green carnations of a blameless life, they went in to dinner. * * * * * THE TALE OF J. B.; OR, "THE PRISONER OF SALTA."--"J. B. is sly, Sir--devilish sly;" but the present J. B., not the _Major Bagstock_ of _Dombey and Son_, but the minor JABEZ BALFOUR, has not yet, as reported, managed to escape from the prison of Salta, the authorities having contrived to put a little Salt-a'pon his tail. _Il y est, il y reste._ * * * * * [Illustration: FELICITOUS QUOTATIONS. _Hostess (of Upper Tooting, showing new house to Friend)._ "WE'RE VERY PROUD OF THIS ROOM, MRS. HOMINY. OUR OWN LITTLE UPHOLSTERER DID IT UP JUST AS YOU SEE IT, AND ALL OUR FRIENDS THINK IT WAS _LIBERTY_!" _Visitor (sotto voce)._ "'OH, LIBERTY, LIBERTY, HOW MANY CRIMES ARE COMMITTED IN THY NAME!'"] * * * * * [Illustration: "VESTED INTERESTS." HOUSE OF LORDS CHARWOMAN. "WELL! THEM ROGEBERRIES, AND 'ERBERT GLADSTINGS, AND HASKWIDGES, AND THE REST ON 'EM MAY TORK--AND THEY MAY TORK--BUT THEY H'AINT TURNED _HUS_ OUT YET!!"] * * * * * "VESTED INTERESTS." _Lady in Possession loquitur_:-- Ah, well! They keeps a rouging up, these papers, or a trying to, But _I_ don't think they'll oust us yet, as hobvious they're a-dying to. Their ROGEBERRIES, and their HASKWIDGES and 'ERBERT GLADSTINGS 'urry up, As per wire-pulling horders; and they tries to keep the flurry up, But somehow it's a fizzle, like a fire as keeps on smouldery, And the public, when they'd poke it up, looks chilly and cold-shouldery.