"As for the Commons--both with the Rad 'Rump' And Tory 'Tail' alike he might deal tartly. He'd have small mercy upon prig or pump; I wonder what he'd think of B-WL-S and B-RTL-Y? Depend upon it, NOLL would purge the place Of much beside Sir HARRY and the Mace." Your Majesties make room there--for a Man! Yes, after several centuries of waiting, It seems that Smug Officialism's plan A change from the next Session may be dating. You tell us, genial HERBERT GLADSTONE, that you _May_ find the funds, next year, for CROMWELL'S Statue! Room for a Big One! Well the STUART pair May gaze on that stout shape as on a spectre. Subject for England's sculptors it is rare To find like that of England's Great Protector; And he with bigot folly is imbued, Who deems that CROMWELL'S Statute _can_ intrude! [Illustration: "ROOM FOR A BIG ONE!" _Cromwell._ "NOW THEN, YOUR MAJESTIES, I HOPE I DON'T INTRUDE!"] * * * * * "OH, YOU WICKED STORY!" (_Cry of the Cockney Street Child._) Speaking of our Neo-Neurotic and "Personal" Novelists, JAMES PAYN says: "None of the authors of these works are storytellers." No, not in his own honest, wholesome, stirring sense, certainly. But, like other naughty--and nasty-minded--children, they "tell stories" in their own way; "great big stories," too, and "tales out of school" into the bargain. Having, like the Needy Knife-grinder, no story (in the true sense) to tell, they tell--well, let us say, tara-diddles! Truth is stranger than even _their_ fiction, but it is not always so "smart" or so "risky" as a loose, long-winded, flippant, cynical and personal literary "lie which is half a truth," in three sloppy, slangy, but "smart"--oh, yes, decidedly "smart"--volumes! * * * * * LYRE AND LANCET. (_A Story in Scenes._) PART IX.--THE MAUVAIS QUART D'HEURE. SCENE XVI.--_The Chinese Drawing Room at Wyvern._ TIME--7.50. Lady CULVERIN _is alone, glancing over a written list._ _Lady Cantire (entering)._ Down already, ALBINIA? I _thought_ if I made haste I should get a quiet chat with you before anybody else came in. What is that paper? Oh, the list of couples for RUPERT. May I see? (_As_ Lady CULVERIN _surrenders it_.) My dear, you're _not_ going to inflict that mincing little PILLINER boy on poor MAISIE! That really _won't do_. At least let her have somebody she's used to. Why not Captain THICKNESSE? He's an old friend, and she's not seen him for months. I must alter that, if you've no objection. (_She does._) And then you've given my poor Poet to that SPELWANE girl! Now, _why_? _Lady Culverin._ I thought she wouldn't mind putting up with him just for one evening. _Lady Cant._ Wouldn't _mind_! Putting up with him! And is that how you speak of a celebrity when you are so fortunate as to have one to entertain? _Really_, ALBINIA!