_Spurr._ (_as dinner is announced, to_ Lady MAISIE). I say, Lady MAISIE, I've just been told I've got to take in a married lady. I don't know what to talk to her about. I should feel a lot more at home with you. Couldn't we manage it somehow? _Lady Maisie_ (_to herself_). What a fearful suggestion--but I simply _daren't_ snub him! (_Aloud._) I'm afraid, Mr. SPURRELL, we must both put up with the partners we have; most distressing, isn't it--_but_! [_She gives a little shrug._ _Captain Thicknesse_ (_immediately behind her, to himself_). Gad, _that_'s pleasant! I knew I'd better have gone to Aldershot! (_Aloud._) I've been told off to take you in, Lady MAISIE, not _my_ fault, don't you know. _Lady Maisie._ There's no need to be so apologetic about it. (_To herself._) Oh, I _hope_ he didn't hear what I said to that wretch. _Capt. Thick._ Well, I rather thought there _might_ be, perhaps. _Lady Maisie_ (_to herself_). He _did_ hear it. If he's going to be so stupid as to misunderstand, I'm sure _I_ shan't explain. [_They take their place in the procession to the Dining Hall._ [Illustration: "I'd rather a job to get these things on; but they're really a wonderful fit, considering!"] * * * * * RATIONAL DRESS. (_A Reformer's Note to a Current Controversy._) [Illustration] OH, ungallant must be the man indeed Who calls "nine women out of ten" "knock-kneed"! And he should not remain in peace for long, Who says "the nether limbs of women" are "all wrong." Such are the arguments designed to prove That Woman's ill-advised to make a move To mannish clothes. These arguments are such As to be of the kind that prove too much. If Woman's limbs in truth unshapely grow, The present style of dress just makes them so! * * * * * QUEER QUERIES.--A QUESTION OF TERMS.--I am sometimes allowed, by the kindness of a warder, to see a newspaper, and I have just read that some scientific cove says that man's natural life is 105 years. Now is this true? I want to know, because I am in here for what the Judge called "the term of my natural life," and, if it is to last for 105 years, I consider I have been badly swindled. I say it quite respectfully, and I hope the Governor will allow the expression to pass. Please direct answers to Her Majesty's Prison, Princetown, Devon.--No. 67. * * * * * IN THREE VOLUMES. VOLUME I.--_Awakening._