The annual Canine Congress opened yesterday in the Isle of Dogs. Should the weather prove favourable it is expected that the reunion will be most successful. The Presidential Address was delivered by A. NEWFOUNDLAND, Esq., winner of the first prize in a recent Crystal Palace Show. The President, who was received with general tail-wagging and yelping, observed that a statement had recently appeared in the public Press to the effect that there were two million dogs in the United Kingdom. (_Sensation._) Yes, he was so informed by his employer's scullery maid, in whom he had implicit confidence, as she always acted very liberally towards him in the matter of bones. (_Applause._) What he wanted to know was, did all these dogs pay their licences, as they ought to do? (_General barking._) All dogs who did not pay should be "collared"--either by their employers or the police. (_Barks and some dissent._) If there were really two millions of their race, it could hardly be denied that the United Kingdom deserved the title of the true "Dogs' Home." (_Laughter._) But they had several crying--he meant howling--grievances. In the first place there were too many mongrels about. (_Growls._) Yes, in their case multiplication was vexation. (_A laugh._) He would put it to the common sense of the meeting. Obviously there was only a certain quantity of bones in the country. Well, the fewer dogs the more bones would there be for the remainder. (_Barks of assent._) Then, as to the excellent legal doctrine, the Palladium of their liberties, that "Every dog may have one bite." He was sorry to see that some magistrates had been inclined to throw doubt on the justice of this maxim, and he hoped the LORD CHANCELLOR would fly at those magistrates--he meant remove them. (_Barks._) Another point to which he must refer was that there was a tendency to put them off with imported bones. Now, _he_ was a Conservative (_barks_), and he believed in the good roast beef of Old England. (_Barks and whining._) He regretted, too, that many employers used an inferior kind of dog biscuit. (_Howls._) If there were one form of food more repulsive than another it was the _fin de siécle_ dog biscuit. (_Laughter._) Had it any meat in it at all? ("_No._") Was it composed chiefly of bad animal fat and bran? ("_Yes._") There was yet one more grievance he had to mention. On washing days (_howls_) it was sad to think that their dignity should be lowered by having to submit to a coat of lather. In this matter some otherwise excellent employers seemed afflicted with rabies. (_Barks._) He would leave it to the consideration of the Congress whether a universal strike against the grievances he had enumerated should be organised. [_Loud and general barking._ At the close of the President's address the Congress adjourned for the day.