PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Volume 108, APRIL 20, 1895. _edited by Sir Francis Burnand_ [Illustration: IMPROVING THE SHINING HOUR. _The New Governess._ "WHAT ARE THE COMPARATIVE AND SUPERLATIVE OF _BAD_, BERTY?" _Berty_ (_the Doctor's son_). "BAD--WORSE--DEAD!"] * * * * * A CHINO-JAPANESE CALENDAR. (_For the next Ten Years._) 1895. Treaty of peace signed between China and Japan, on the basis of the opening up of Chinese territory and introduction of machinery into the Celestial Empire. The Japanese prophesy that the compact will ultimately prove to be for the benefit of the Chinese. 1896. Japan floods China with home-made merchants, who obtain an enormous trade. 1897. England, America and France follow suit, and, after a pause, the remainder of the civilized world adopt the prevailing fashion. 1898. Japanese China becomes over-populated, thanks to the foreign invasion, and there is much discontent amongst the original inhabitants. 1899. The foreigners, having secured all the possible trade that could be obtained, commence the erection of manufactories. 1900. Japanese China challenges Birmingham, Glasgow, Lyons, and Marseilles on their own ground, and holds its own. It claims to be one of the most productive places on the face of the universe. 1901. The introduction of machinery having thrown the teeming millions of Japanese China out of work, there is great discontent amongst them. 1902. An enterprising citizen of the United States of America projects an emigration scheme for supplying the outer world with the superfluous population of Japanese China. 1903. The scheme of the citizen of the U. S. A. proves a great success, and sixty millions of Chino-Japanese are conveyed to the two worlds, the old and the new. 1904. The original inhabitants of Europe and America, undersold by the Chino-Japanese, are ousted from their positions and left without work. Consequently, great prosperity of the Chino-Japanese. 1905. Fulfilment of the prophecy, that the treaty of peace between China and Japan signed in 1895 was "really for the benefit of the Chinese." * * * * * WON'T WASH! _Or, The British Laundress's Lament._ [There is talk of a company for taking our laundry-work over to Holland, washing it there, and returning it to the owners at a less cost than it can be done for at home.]