PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 108, APRIL 27, 1895. _edited by Sir Francis Burnand_ [Illustration: CLASSIC QUOTATIONS ILLUSTRATED. (_For the Use of Schools._) EXAMPLE I.--"AMARI A-LIQUID."] * * * * * THE LATEST CRAZE. (_A Dramatic Study of Cause and Effect._) SCENE--_Interior of a Private Box at a Popular Theatre._ _Enter_ ANGELINA _and her people_. _Paterfamilias._ Well, now that we are here, I hope you are satisfied. As for myself, I hate these problem plays. _Materfamilias._ They are entirely the vogue just now, and we must see them. What everybody does we must do. _Angelina._ So I told EDWIN--I should say, Mr. DOMUM--when he complained of our going. _Mater._ Of course. We have to follow the fashion. _Pater._ Hush! You must not talk any more, see the curtain has risen. (_Five minutes pass._) _First Heroine_ (_on the stage_). And so, my dear, my marriage was an utter failure. The monotony of the life was terrible. My husband anticipated my every wish. The tameness was too awful for words, and so I left him. [_Loud applause._ _Mater._ (_to her husband_). Ah, I never left you, RICHARD! _Pater._ (_to his wife_). Nor I you, BRIDGET! _Angelina_ (_aside_). I suppose married life must be very wearisome. (_Ten minutes pass._) _Second Heroine_ (_on the stage_). And now I will tell you the secret of my life. I never loved my husband. He gave me all I required--fine clothes, sparkling jewels, an opera box. But his presents were insults in disguise, and I left him. [_Loud applause._ _Pater._ I did not insult you by handing you too many gifts, BRIDGET? _Mater._ Indeed you did not, RICHARD. In fact, I think you carried your abstention too far. _Pater._ Not at all. See, after these many years, we are devoted to one another! _Angelina_ (_aside_). Failure of Marriage Number Two! Weddings seem to be mistake! (_Two hours pass._) _Third Heroine._ I tell you, my Lord Bishop, that I have never regretted leaving you. Twenty years ago you were a young curate, and you spoilt our married life by your indulgence. You let me have everything I wanted. No, my Lord, I will hear no more. _Angelina_ (_aside_). Another matrimonial failure! I really must have a good think over it. _Pater._ (_to_ Mater.). Well, I hope you are satisfied! _Mater._ (_to_ Pater.). Awfully depressing, but I don't see what harm it can do to anyone. (_An hour passes._) _Angelina_ (_writing in her own room_). "Dear EDWIN, I call you by your christian name, for the last time. I can never be yours. I am convinced from all I have heard that marriage is a failure. Sincerely yours, ANGELINA." [_Scene closes in upon a flood of tears._ * * * * * HEXAMETERS TO DATE; AND A PREHISTORIC PEEP. [Mr. FLINDERS PETRIE has just excavated the city of Ombi on the Nile, and vindicated JUVENAL'S geographical reputation.]