_Second Countryman._ "MAYBE YER WOULD, MA LAD; BUT YER SEE THAT 'ERE 'OSS DON'T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT JUMPING WI' A JACKASS!"] * * * * * THE JAP IN THE CHINA SHOP; OR, THE NEW "OPEN SESAME." ["China, properly opened up, would be an El Dorado for mankind.... The true conquest effected by the war is the conquest of the right to a market, and that apparently on an enormous scale." _"Daily News" on the terms of Peace between China and Japan._] _Little Jap loquitur_:-- Come, wake up, old chap! I'm the go-ahead Jap. _Open Sesame!_ Yes, that's the word, JOHN! In your den you would stop, or e'en shut up your shop, Your proceedings are highly absurd, JOHN! Spite your bounce and your boast, I have got you on toast, And thereby, friend JOHN, hangs a _big_ tale. When your carcase I'd wake, I have only to take A sailor's round turn at your pigtail! Your notion of shopkeeping's shutter and key. Since you don't know their use, hand 'em over to _Me_! For thousands of years your pride and your fears Have muddled your market completely. Ah! would you, old slug? But a twist and a tug Bring you up to your bearings most sweetly. 'Tis no use to kick! You will have to move slick, Now you've got in the hands of Young Jappy; Don't you get in a scare for your crockery ware. Rouse up, open shop, and be happy! Afraid? Superstitious? Oh, fiddle-de-dee! Throw open your markets, and leave it to _Me_! For ever so long you've been going all wrong. Your Empire is under a shadow; But well opened up, by ships, railways, and KRUPP, It will turn out a true El Dorado. _Don't_ fly to your door! Eh? your pigtail is sore? You think me a cocky invader? Why you'll find in the end I'm your very best friend, When I force you to be a free trader. Blow your grandfather's bunkum, you Heathen Chinee! Take down all your shutters, and hand _me_ the key! For _my_ use alone? you inquire with a groan. Oh, dear! you _must_ be an old duffer! Excuse me this wink,--but what do _you_ think? Do you hold "Outside Devils" will suffer The Flowery Land to be locked by my hand, Any more than by yours, in their faces? Pig-headed old Pigtail, I fancy I know How to get into Europe's good graces. So pay up my millions, you Heathen Chinee! Throw open your market, and _hand me the key_! * * * * * "STRANGE DISAPPEARANCES." The four strangers were gathered together in the all-but-deserted inn. They were forced to enter into conversation, because the solitary periodical taken in by the landlord had been read from title to imprint by everyone of them. "A strange article," said the first, as he laid down the _Lancet_. "And so men disappear entirely for awhile, and then come back to their homes and profession as if nothing had happened."