But no! COMYNS CARR would have none of this. The wicked flourish. Someone said that _Sir Lancelot_ was killed "without," but I don't believe it. My private opinion is that the sly dog _Lancy_ sneaked out quietly, waited for _Guinevere_, and then they both went off together, to Boulogne, or Monte Carlo maybe; that _Morgan-le-Fay_ took to walking in her sleep and washing out little sanguinary spots on her hand; and that _Mordred_ got an engagement in the provinces to play _Iago_; while all that the audience know of _King Arthur_ is that he went off with three Queens of the Night (perhaps signifying that he ventured on a water-party with only three sovereigns) in a barge,--perhaps "the craft of _Merlin_" mentioned by TENNYSON,--to some place down the river, where he was said to be interred, and at whose grave kept guard the well-known "Waterbury Watch." However all this is but surmise. One thing is certain--that _King Arthur_ is still alive, very much alive, and, like Lord ARTHUR of _Pantomime Rehearsal_ fame, "going strong," at the Lyceum, for very many Arthurian nights to come. _Le Roi Arthur est mort! Vive le Roi Arthur!_ Bravo, COMYNS! Well may he say to HENRY IRVING, "Eh, mon, whar's your WULLIE SHAKSPEARE _noo?_" * * * * * [Illustration: THE SWORD EXCALIBUR. (_Scene from "King Arthur" up to date._) _Sir Bedivere M-rl-y_ (_timidly, but politely_). "SHALL I THROW THE SWORD INTO THE MERE?" _King Arthur_ (_Sir W. V. H-rc-urt--disdainfully_). "'THROW THE SWORD INTO THE MERE!' WHY, I HAVEN'T LOST THE SCABBARD YET, STOOPID!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SOMETHING LIKE A CHARACTER. _Huntsman_ (_on being introduced to future Wife of M. F. H._). "PROUD TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE, MISS! KNOWN THE CAPTING, MISS, FOR NIGH ON TEN SEASONS, AND NEVER SAW 'IM TURN 'IS 'EAD FROM HANYTHING AS WAS JUMPABLE! KNOWS A 'OSS AND KNOWS A 'OUND! CAN RIDE ONE AND 'UNT T'OTHER; AND IF THAT AIN'T AS MUCH AS CAN BE LOOKED FOR IN A 'USBAND, MISS, WHY, I'LL BE JIGGERED!"] * * * * * THE SWORD EXCALIBUR. _A Very Topsy-turvied Arthurian Legend Up-to-Date._ DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. King Arthur (_for this occasion_) Sir W. H-RC-URT. The Bold Sir Bedivere Mr. J-HN M-RL-Y. Sir Gawain (_just to oblige_) L-rd R-S-B-RY. Mordred Mr. JN. R-DM-ND. Sir Lancelot Mr. G----.