Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 1, 1895 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 1, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 1, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
[Lord SALISBURY "believes the SULTAN to be a humane
man."--_Speech at Bradford._]
LORD SALISBURY believes--
That RICHARD THE THIRD was a remarkably amiable man; especially kind
to children.
That NERO was the gentlest creature that ever breathed, except
CALIGULA.
That HENRY THE EIGHTH was a gentle, unassuming person; most religious
and domesticated; in fact, a model husband, and the sort of man that
"wouldn't harm a biby."
* * * * *
ROUNDABOUT READINGS.
The Hon. GEORGE CURZON and Miss LEITER (U.S.A.) have been married.
The State of Illinois is indignant. The two facts are more intimately
connected than might be supposed. Four days after the wedding a
resolution was introduced into the State Legislature of Illinois by a
Mr. MCCARTHY, requesting the daughters of Illinois "not to accept
the hand in marriage of any person who is not a citizen of the United
States, as we are of opinion that the daughters of Illinois should
be patriotic in their views, and should disregard the title of any
foreigner, and marry none but a citizen of the United States." It is
stated that the resolution "was referred to the Committee on Federal
Relations." Surely a Committee on domestic relations or on titled
relations would have been more appropriate.
* * * * *
The Illinois State Legislature obviously has novel ideas of its
legislative duties. Imagine an English County Council treating
seriously such fantastic rubbish as Mr. MCCARTHY brought before the
law-makers of his State. Would it not be more to the point to look
after the sons of Illinois, and to keep the hue of their resolution up
to the mark? If they are laggards in love, who shall blame the British
aristocrat for wooing with success the daughters of Illinois,
whom their compatriot suitors abandon? Or again, if titles are so
irresistible an attraction to the fair, why not establish titles in
Illinois, and thus give the Earl of BANGS or the Marquis SALTONTALE
that seductive influence which is apparently lacking to plain ZEDEKIAH
B. BANGS, and to the unadorned JONATHAN K. SALTONTALE. For it is
obviously better that the daughters of Illinois should marry than
that they should waste away with an unbridaled (let the spelling pass)
desire for a title.
* * * * *
At Oxford on Wednesday last the University beat Somerset by one
wicket, mainly owing to the admirable batting of Mr. H. D. G. LEVESON
GOWER, popularly known as "The Shrimp."
To the batsmen of Oxford, who looked very limp,
Father Neptune was kind when he gave them a Shrimp:
For a Shrimp on the grass is most worthy of rhyme,
When he makes a firm stand, but gets runs all the time.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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