"You will assist," quoth _Mr. Punch_ to TOBY, "in giving the SHAHZADA a cheery welcome on board the P. and O.'s _Caledonia_. And _these_," continued _Mr. P._, handing TOBY a packet and a purse containing untold gold "are your secret instructions." "They shall be faithfully obeyed," replied the ever-faithful TOBY; adding, "_À bon_ SHAH, _bon hur-rah!_" * * * Day lovely; voyage perfect. Father Thames at his best. Sir THOMAS SUTHERLAND, M.P. and O., and all the goodly company, drank the SHAHZADA'S health most heartily. Then capital short speech from Right Honourable FOWLER about India. SHAHZADA satisfied with dinner, gratified by reception. On deck the SHAHZADA called TOBY aside. Interpreter intervened. "_Detnaw ton! Tuoteg!_" said the SHAHZADA, quietly, but authoritatively. The interpreter retired, muttering to himself "Bow-strings for one." "Look here," said the SHAHZADA to TOBY ... and they discussed affairs (TOBY acting as _Mr. P.'s_ representative) of such importance that they cannot be even hinted at in this or any other place. "And now," said the SHAHZADA, still speaking in his native language, of which this is a translation, "is it not true that one of your national institutions at Greenwich is----" "The Fair?" "Bah!" laughed the SHAHZADA, "that has long since vanished; so have the Pensioners at the Hospital. But----" "There is still hospitality," murmured TOBY, salaaming his very best. "There is," returned the SHAHZADA, "and _you_ shall show it." "What can I do for you, your Royal Highness?" asked TOBY. The SHAHZADA drew him yet further apart from the envious crowd, and whispered in his ear. "Your Royal Highness," answered TOBY, "it shall be done. Command that the boat be stopped at Greenwich." So the boat was stopped at Greenwich, and the SHAHZADA, with TOBY, debarked. Great cheering. * * * 8 P.M.--_Telegraphic Message from Toby to Mr. Punch, Fleet Street._ _Cannot come to dinner. Shahzada and self enjoying tea and shrimps. All gone--except the shrimps. No money returned. Did it for one-and-ten, shall pocket difference. Shahzada says best entertainment ever had. See you later. Larks._ TOBY. * * * * * THE WARS OF THE ROSES. (_A Sheffield Cricket Song, by a True "Tyke."_) ["The fifty-fifth contest on the cricket field between the rival counties of Yorkshire and Lancashire ended yesterday (June 5) in a victory for the representatives of the Red Rose by 145 runs, and the record now reads--Yorkshire won 23, Lancashire won 23, and 9 drawn."--_The Leeds Mercury._]