SIR,--Ah me! and well-a-day! it is the grand sorrow of my life! I cannot subscribe to this fund for Dr. GRACE. I dare not, except you allow me to send it confidentially through you, Sir, ever the Ladies' friend. Ah Sir! long ago my heart "went out"--to whom? no matter. It was a cricketer. I never told my love! I long-stopped! But never, never, shall I forget that memorable day when _he_ was there, and when someone, Dr. G. will remember who it was, _bowled a maiden over!_ I am not a heroine, but I may sign this (as I address it fervently to) "GRACE DARLING!" _The Lighthouse, A Little off--the Coast._ SIR,--I belong to an "Impi" tribe--with "cunious" added. Otherwise would I contribute what I did to the first cricket-match I ever played, when, as the ball was thrown at me, to save my head _I gave a bob_. I cannot even do that now. But as a lover of the game I hope that there are many youthful Britons eager to follow "_Exemplum Gratiæ_." Yours, STUMP ORATOR. DEAR SIR,--I think you are quite right to encourage cricket, as it is a noble game. The Duke of WELLINGTON ones said that Trafalgar was won on the Eton Playing-fields. I don't think he was quite right there, as I have always been told that the battle was fought abroad. I am last in my class, but I'm in the second Eleven. I'm often "not out," and to-day I've had to "stay in" all the time during the match, because I had a saying-lesson to write out and translate. The other day I made 27, including three fourers, against the United Thingummies. I remain, yours enthusiastically, TOMMY. _The Only College._ P.S.--I will send my shilling as soon as I can get it from BATLEY _mi._ He owes it me for birds' eggs. SIR,--I am only too happy to contribute my mite, for though it's some while--alas! how time flies--since I handled the willow, I well remember playing in the early forties against ALFRED PITCHER and JOHN TOSSER. Ah, they were heroes in those days. I myself was no mean performer. I tell you, Sir, many's the time I have made double figures against the underhand bowling of JIMMY TRUNDLER, and he _could_ bowl, too! before the round-arm style came in. I never took kindly to that, but these fifty years I have been an ardent looker-on, and I must tell you, &c. &c.[*] JNO. WARDLE. (_Late Member of All-Muggleton C. C._) [Footnote *: "No you mustn't." Caught out by Editor.] * * * * * [Illustration: "A FLYING VISIT." EMPEROR WILLIAM (_to_ MADAME LA RÉPUBLIQUE _leaving Kiel after very Kiel after very brief stay_). "MUST YOU _REALLY_ GO? _SO_ SORRY!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "_Perfeck Lidy_" (_who has just been ejected_). "WELL, _NEXT_ TIME I GOES INTO A PUBLICKOUSE, I'LL GO SOMEWHERE WHERE I'LL BE _RESPECTED!_"] * * * * * PROVERBS BY AN ILLUSTRIOUS FOREIGNER ON TOUR. The time of special trains was made for slaves, not Asiatic Princes.