SIR CHARLES HALLE'S CHOIR PICNIC. FINAL REHEARSAL and for TICKETS at Messrs. &c. How is a picnic rehearsed? * * * * * [Illustration: HIS IDEA OF IT. _Native._ "IS'T NO A DAFT-LIKE PLACE THIS TAE BE TAKIN' A VIEW? THERE'S NO NAETHING TAE BE SEEN FOR THE TREES. NOO, IF YE WAS TAE GANG TAE THE TAP O' KNOCKCREGGAN, THAT WAD SET YE FINE! YE CAN SEE _FIVE COONTIES_ FRAE THERE!"] * * * * * THE LEADING MOTIVE OF THE "W. O.," WITH VARIATIONS. _The General Idea_ (_supplied at Pall Mall_). That, although the British Army costs (exclusive of extras) £57 per man, the War Office is the best _bureau_ in the world. The establishments over which the Secretary of State and the Commander-in-Chief preside, are necessarily incapable of improvement, as they are absolutely perfect. This being so, nothing more need, can, and should be said. _Commentary No. 1_ (_supplied by Printing House Square_). That the General Idea of the War Office is ridiculous. That were Pall Mall to be occupied by the staff of a merchant's office, the nation would be saved millions, and the £57 (exclusive of extras) per man arrangement would soon be regarded as an extravagant product of the wasteful past. _Commentary No. 2_ (_supplied by a military writer_). That civilians cannot possibly know anything about the working of a Government Office. As Pall Mall says it is perfect, it is to be presumed that it is. Why not leave well alone? And as for £57 (exclusive of extras) per man, why, is not that arrangement less than £60? _Commentary No. 3_ (_supplied anonymously_). Opinion of military writer not worth the paper containing it. Look abroad. Does the foreign service cost £57 per man, exclusive of extras? Not at all. Then what can be done on the Continent, can, and should be done in England. _Commentary No. 4_ (_supplied by the working-classes_). What! pay, £57 (exclusive of extras) for a soldier? Much better abolish the Army, and reduce the price of beer! _Commentary No. 5 and last_ (_supplied by_ Private THOMAS ATKINS). What, I cost £57 a year, exclusive of extras! Well, all I can say is, that precious little of the money or the perquisites gets into _my_ pockets! Worse luck to it! * * * * * MRS. R. ON THE POLITICAL SITUATION.--"What's this I hear about Mr. G.?" inquired Mrs. R. "That he is returning to the House in town, and giving up his Villiers in the country?" * * * * * [Illustration: UNLUCKY SPEECHES. "MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY!" SAYS THE BASHFUL JONES TO FAIR BRIDE ON THE OCCASION OF HER THIRD MARRIAGE.] * * * * * ARS EST CELARE NATURAM. The German EMPEROR having expressed a wish to visit a non-existing island at Hamburg, the tasteful citizens have constructed one by means of wirework, canvas, plaster, and cement.