The Witness Protection Society and General Legal Reform Union has been holding its Annual General Meeting. Among the numerous objects of this estimable body the chief appears to be to protect witnesses in law courts from insult by counsel. Captain PARKIS, having expressed himself as willing, was voted to the chair, and the members settled down to have a good time. "Heated discussion," "further disturbance," and a well-sustained fire of "protests," lent an air of gaiety to the proceedings, which culminated in "various gentlemen abusing one another across the table." With such excellent practice, the members of the W. P. S. G. L. R. U. should be able to hold their own in court. The Bar trembles. Even the Bench feels a little uneasy. L-CKW-D, no longer drawing, will be drawn, Even the piercing eye of CL-RKE will quail, C-RS-N be "spacheless," G-LL will almost fawn, And sturdy W-BST-R falter and turn pale, Because the witness, taking heart of grace, Will "go for him" with candour strangely new, And brandish, cross-examined, in his face The W. P. S. G. L. R. U.! * * * * * "MEMORABLE SAYINGS AND HISTORICAL EVENTS."--There must now be added to the long list Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT'S languidly jocose remark on Friday night last. "Thank Heaven," he is reported to have said, "there is one night on which we need not fear a crisis." And while yet the laugh was on their lips, the bells rang, and subsequently the Four Tellers announced what could not have been Fore-told. And who laughs last? * * * * * [Illustration: "WILLIAM! AHOY!" OPEN-MINDED WILLIAM (_having come ashore from "The Stormy Petrel"_). "AVAST THERE, MESSMATES! THE STATESMAN WHO WOULD LAY HIS HANDS ON A STEEPLE-HATTED FEMALE IN DISTRESS,--_SAVE IN THE WAY OF KE-INDNESS_," &c., &c. [_The "Messmates" "avast" accordingly._ *** "Mr. G." withdrew his pair with Mr. VILLIERS in order to keep "an open mind" on the Welsh Disestablishment Question.] * * * * * ROUNDABOUT READINGS. Messrs. ARKWRIGHT, CUNLIFFE, and WARNER have received their blues from the Captain of the Oxford University Eleven. In other words, these gentlemen will help to represent their University in the cricket match against Cambridge. My congratulations, though they come late, are none the less hearty and sincere. Can any years of success in after life efface the memory or outrival the delight of that crowded moment of glorious life which comes to a young man when his Captain tells him he may get his blue? Thenceforward he is made one with the great company of old blues, who year by year meet and exchange reminiscences, the honour of his University is in his hands, his father becomes less rigorous in his financial views, and his mother is confirmed in her opinion that her darling is the brightest and best and handsomest of created beings. These keen joys come but once in a lifetime, and only to a few.